I Choose You

26. Unexpected (Edited)

"I have the same picture," he whispered, turning to look at me as he set it down, "my mom gave it to me."

I tried to smile at him, but all I could think about was our fight. About what we'd both said to each other. I wish I could pretend like it hadn't happened. Like we were okay. Like everything was perfect. But we're going to have to talk about it at some point.

"Aiden..." I whispered, looking away, before I finally looked up at him, "what are you doing here? It's two in the morning—and I just snuck you into my room—if my dad ever finds out he'll murder me."

Aiden's head fell as he sighed, before he walked over to my bed and sat on the floor against it, resting his arms on his knees. For a moment, there was silence between us, as I stood and watched him. He was wearing his black peacoat. The one he wore when we had gone ice skating. It was my favorite of all his jackets. It made him look so handsome.

"Come here, Em," he whispered, patting the floor next to him.

Em. He called me Em. I felt my heart sigh in relief.

I sat down next to him, as he turned to look at me.

"I don't—I don't wanna lie to you," he said, turning to look deep into my eyes.

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster.

"I didn't get that girl pregnant."

Guilt. That's the feeling that overtook my body. I felt disgusted. So absolutely disgusted with myself that I could even, for one second, believe what Landon had told me. For even a split second! Aiden was right. After everything he had done to prove to me what kind of person he was. After everything he'd done to prove to me that he wasn't a bad person. How could I?

And then he told me. He told me the whole story. The truth.

I could feel my heart beginning to beat faster with each passing second, and I unknowingly reached down and intertwined my fingers with Aiden's. He glanced down for a moment, at our hands, before returning to his outward gaze. He wouldn't look at me as he spoke. He just kept his eyes trained straight in front of him. It gave me the feeling that he was ashamed of something.

I looked at him. What exactly was that supposed to mean? Once?

"That was all it took, though," he whispered, "a month later, she showed up at my house—told me she was pregnant—that it was mine."

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I looked at him.

"For the next three months, I spent my life thinking that I was going to be a dad. And I spent every waking minute with Victoria, promising her that I'd be there for her through everything."

When I heard those words come out of Aiden's mouth. When I heard him say that. When I heard him say that he had told her he'd be there for her, my faith in him only grew. Aiden was so much more than anyone knew. He was so much more grown up, so much more mature than anyone ever gives him credit for. He did the one thing that any high school boy would be terrified out of their mind to do.

He stepped up and took on the role of a man. Of a true father.

And that action alone was enough to show you how amazing this boy truly was. That when faced with the decision of whether to sweep his mistakes away and deny it, or face them head on, he rose up and decided to be the better man.

I felt my heart ache for him and the guilt in my chest grow.

Aiden stopped, holding my hand tightly in his as if his life depended on it, staring intently at the doors of my closet.

"What happened?" I whispered. "After that?"

He didn't look at me. He bowed his head low.

"I found out the baby wasn't mine."

He shook his head.

"She had only told me because she wanted an excuse for me to stay with her. She had somehow come up with this crazy idea that I was in love with her and the three of us were going to be a big, happy family." he hung his head low. "After that—I didn't talk to her again until the night she went into labor—she called me because she didn't have anyone else."

I watched him closely, watched as his jaw ticked, and he shut his eyes.

"I went." he whispered. "She had a boy."

"His name was Cayden."

I felt tears spring to my eyes. Aiden had gone to be with Victoria even though the baby wasn't his. He had gone to honor his promise and for that, nothing could rival the humility that Aiden showed.

"After he was born, I promised her I'd visit them every month—check and see how they were doing. So that's what I've been doing for the past three years."

I knew how hard it was for Aiden to let his guard down in front of me. I knew how hard it was for him to let me all the way in. For him to let me see him so vulnerable and open, so I didn't say anything, because I knew that's what he needed. I just sat there with him, with his hand in mine. I don't know how long for, but it was long enough that I couldn't hold the tears in any longer. The guilt was eating me alive, and it wasn't long before my sobs broke the silence.

"I'm so sorry, Aiden!" I cried, placing my hand over my mouth and sobbing into it.

Why do I always think the worst of him, when time and time again he continues to prove to me who he truly is? How can I judge him so quickly after everything he's done for me?

"It's okay." he whispered. "I have a past, and I'm not proud of it...but I have to own up to it. And I have to stop running from it." he turned to look at me, reaching up to wipe my tears away with his thumbs.

But it's not okay. It's not okay, because he's right. I do always choose Evan over him. Every time. And I'm not proud of it, but just like he said, I have to own up to it. Maybe it's because Evan will always be my first love, the one person that I really and truly loved for a long time, but I haven't felt that strongly for him in a while. Not ever since I'd met Aiden.

They say your first love is the hardest to let go, but I see now that maybe it's time for me to do that. Maybe it's time for me to let Evan go...because this boy, right here, is my rock. And he has been since the moment I met him. He's the person that's been there for me through everything, through every hard moment, the laughs, the fights, the good times and the bad.

How could I never see that before?

There was silence between us for a long time. It was like we were both taking in what the other had said, letting it sink in, trying to understand each other. And as I watched Aiden, I couldn't help but think how I'd never quite seen him like this before. So calm... pensive, so vulnerable. It was strange. There were so many sides to Aiden that each day I learn something new about him. About the person he is. About the person he was. About the person he wants to be.

I soon found myself leaning my head against Aiden's shoulder as we sat in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's presence after not having seen each other for so long. And I realize that a week may not seem that long, but when it came to Aiden, every moment that I was away from him felt like an eternity. Like time was slowing down just to tell me what a horrible person I am.

It wasn't long before my eyes started to get droopy and I felt myself falling into a slumber, but I didn't miss the words that Aiden said to me as I felt my body start to become heavy.

"I was so lost without you."

I felt my heart leap as I drifted into another realm.