Pay the Sun

Twelve

School starts on August 6th.

The day starts off like the first day of school always does. We go in early and grab our books and schedule before heading to our regular table in the courtyard. Everything is the same, except for the addition of Robin.

My friends instantly take to him, thrilled that I'm dating him. Robin doesn't take to them like they do to him, but I know that he'll just need some time to get comfortable. He stuck by my side for the whole first day process, standing stiff and tense.

I don't mind school that much anymore, but seeing Robin so miserable because of it makes me hate it with a fiery passion. He's obviously uneasy about going to his classes. He has Art II with Nanna, luckily. I know she'll look out for him. I wish I had more classes with him. At least we're both in the same Shakespeare Lit. class.

I hold Robin's hand and rub small circles into it while we sit at our lunch table, waiting for the first bell to ring. After spending so much time with him constantly for days on end, the thought of not being able to be with him for a few hours hurts.

Everyone else chatters on at the table, talking about their summers. Mostly they grill West about his Europe trip. They try to include Robin in the conversation, but that just causes him to shrink more into himself. I deflect all the attention that's put on him.

"Do you need to get away for a little bit? We can go over by the gym. No one else is there," I offer quietly, only for Robin's ears.

He shakes his head stiffly, clinging harder to my hand. I squeeze back just as tightly. It's strange how someone can become so important to you in such a short amount of time.

The ten minutes leading up to the bell pass far too quickly, and the signal that the first day of school has officially started sounds off. I ponder on how to say goodbye to Robin, eventually settling on a hug that doesn't last as long as I want it to.

"If you need me, give me a text," I remind him.

Robin nods.

"We'll meet at our room after school, yeah?" I say. "After school, we can go there and makeout."

That makes Robin crack a smile.

"See you at lunch." I kiss his cheek.

I barely catch the soft, 'bye, Jules' I get in response before he turns to leave. My heart twists around in my chest. Tim's right; I am whipped, but I'm completely okay with it.

"Come on," Nanna says, grabbing my arm. "We have to get to class."

She must see my look because her eyes soften. Nanna's a sucker for a good romance story. "He'll be fine. Robin can take care of himself."

She's right. Robin's strong. Besides, I'll see him later. We'll makeout in our room, hidden away in an abandoned building that once was haunted. I'm looking forward to it.

As I watch Robin walk off to his first period class, I feel a flutter in my chest, a pain that renders me breathless. Deep down, I know that this is not just a fleeting, summer crush. It's not just a summer love. It never was. It's far more than that. It always has been.