Blueberry Muffins

08

eight ~ an accidental deliberance

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life's for the living so live it
or you're better off dead
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Park Jimin

Another day brought another stroll around the supermarket. Usually I found grocery shopping to be something of a chore, but for some reason I couldn't shake the smile off my face nor the light feeling in my heart. It was as if I had found balance within my life for the first time in twenty years, and it was freeing.

My mother once told me that if you build your life on the right foundations, you will never feel it falling away from underneath you. And now, finally, I understood what she meant.

I had great friends including the best best friend anyone could ever ask for, a loving family, a great education and career prospects, plus the new addition of a love interest who actually seemed to like me. Everything was going well and that seemed to justify the permanent grin on my face these days.

"Hey, smiley," Taehyung welcomed me as I returned to our apartment, a bag of shopping in my hand and my keys in the other.

I kicked the door shut and twirled around, dancing through the room until I got to my best friend.

"Hey, Taetae," I chirped, "What's up?"

He was sat at the small breakfast bar with his phone in his hand when I got home, and he was dressed stylishly as though ready to go out. He smiled and chuckled at my silly moves as I made my way over to him.

"I'm going out to dinner with Irma tonight, I did tell you," he replied.

"Oh yeah, I remember," I said while beginning to put the groceries away. "How is she doing? You haven't brought her over here for a while and I'm starting to miss that cute little face."

Tae chuckled at me, still dancing as I restocked the kitchen. I couldn't stop moving even though there was no music on. I wasn't used to having this much happy energy and I didn't know what else to do with it.

"She's fine, Chim, we're great. But never mind us, how come you still haven't brought Jeongguk over? I can't believe you haven't let me meet him yet."

I stopped dancing immediately. The box of cereal in my hand paused halfway in its journey to the cupboard, then was forgotten about when I spun around to face the boy behind me.

"You think I should ask him over? Isn't it a bit too soon? Do you think he'll get the wrong idea and want to do something? You know, like, more?"

Tae looked a bit taken aback at my slightly panicked outburst.

"No, not necessarily," he replied calmly. "You two have been out together what, like five times now? And you don't stop texting him from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep. You obviously like each other so why not make it a bit more personal? And he knows you by now, Chim, I doubt he'll think you're insinuating sex."

"Hey, I'm not completely innocent you know," I blushed sheepishly. "I'm twenty years old."

Taehyung just shook his head and grinned at me.

"I'm not saying anything like that. All I mean is that you're emotional and sensitive - the kind of guy who needs to be attached and secure before you get physical. There's nothing wrong with that at all."

I relaxed, accepting my friend's wisdom. He was right - clothes would not be coming off for a while yet.

"You think he knows that I don't want that yet?" I questioned.