The Other One {Harry Styles AU}

32. Now

My entire body is shivering, as if I am cold, but I'm not. I'm sweating actually, rivulets running down my temples and mixing with my tears in salty trails.

Harry kisses my neck. "Oh, Maddie," he breathes, raising up on his arms. "Maddie? What's wrong?" He sounds frantic. I shake my head. "Baby? Are you okay?" He wipes at my tears. I nod. "Maddie, talk to me, please. You're freaking me out."

"I'm okay," I stammer through chattering teeth.

"Are you cold?"

"No," I am still trembling. "I think I might be in shock."

"Same," he says raising his eyebrows at me, and I laugh, a loud burst of a laugh.

"I mean, my body's in shock," I explain. That's what this feels like. Shock. Uncontrolled shaking, muscles tensed, hard to breathe, heart racing. Or it could be panic. But I don't feel panicked. Harry looks sort of panicked.

"But are you okay?" He asks, his voice growing more desperate.

I raise my hand to his cheek, running my index finger into his dimple. "I'm fine. Better than fine. I'm great." I kiss him gently, my lips quaking against his. "I just didn't expect to feel so...intensely...connected to you."

His face relaxes into a soft smile, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight pouring in through the windows. "Oh, thank god. You were really scaring me." He kisses me delicately. His hands cup my face, and he whispers, "did it hurt?"

I nod, looking right into his eyes, so bright, so beautiful. "Yes. It hurt so much." Those beautiful green eyes widen, and then narrow with his frown. I add hastily, "But it felt good by the end."

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be." I kiss him, wrapping one hand into his hair. "I knew it would hurt." I grab his middle finger with my other hand. Fuck, my hands are still shaking like crazy. "It hurt the first time you stuck this in me. And that," I look down to where our bodies are still joined, "is much bigger." Fuck. It's so much bigger. How the hell did we just do that?

He bites his lower lip and laughs, beaming at me. "I love you so much, Maddie."

"I love you, Harry."

He shifts his hips off of me. No, don't leave me. There is a pulling sensation low in my abdomen. Please don't leave me. And then I am empty. "Shit. You're bleeding." I sit halfway up and look. Sure enough, the bed is stained with a small smear of red. Fuck. "Do you want to shower?" I shake my head. "Some panties?" No. "Sleep?" I shrug. He runs his hand through his hair. "Speak!"

"Don't leave me," I beg. "Just, please don't leave me."

He leans back down. "Okay, baby. Okay. Come here, let's lay on this side." He pulls me to the far edge of the large bed and curls his arm under my head. With his other, he traces the outlines of my facial features, skimming his fingertips over my nose, eyebrows, cheeks, lips, jaw. I tangle my feet with his, my arms crossed over my chest like a vampire. Like a bungee jumper. Like I am hugging myself. Our faces are so close that I am breathing in his exhalations, and I feel like I will suffocate. He presses his lips to mine, and I close my eyes, finally relaxing my tense shoulders. Harry kisses me--baby kisses, soft slight kisses that barely move my mouth--over and over until I fall asleep.

Sunlight streams in through the windows, assaulting my tired eyes with its glow. Why the fuck didn't we close the curtains last night? Oh, right. I scoot my hips back a bit. Ouch. Fuck. My whole body hurts. Harry's eyes snap open, focus on my face, and then soften as he becomes a rainbow. And I become a rainbow. Fucking rainbows.