The Other One {Harry Styles AU}

12. Now

The host looks like he is going to choke. The room is dead silent. I refuse to look anywhere but into this jackass's eyes, though I feel vomit rising in my throat.

"I'm sorry," the host finally speaks. "I had no idea." He removes the orange from his desk.

"Okay folks, we're going to stop tape for a moment." The producer walks over to me. "We can cut this out."

"No, don't," I say. "I'm fine." Fuck. Am I? I kind of am.

"But I look like an asshole," the host counters.

"Yes, you do. Because you were being an asshole. Trying to embarrass me. Well, I turned it back on you, and you deserved it." The crowd in the theater whoops and cheers when I say that. "If you cut it to make yourself look good, you're an even bigger asshole."

"I'm sorry," he says again.

The producer looks at me, like I might break. Or break things. Or break people. "Do you want to continue?"

"Do you have anything that can lighten this up?" I ask. The host nods. "All right." I will not let him beat me.

I really need to call my therapist.

"Okay, rolling again in 5." They cue us in.

"I can't believe you agreed to stay for another segment," the host says, looking appropriately contrite.

I look into the camera. "Me neither." The crowd laughs. I love breaking the fourth wall.

"I'm truly sorry for what I said," he wants me to let him off the hook. I just nod.

"Okay, you clearly don't want to talk about leaving the show. Or the show. Or yourself. So let's find something you do like to talk about. Help me out. What would that be?" He looks and sounds like the bumbling buffoon he is.

"Books." I answer after a pause.

He straightens up. "Books. That relates to the show. What's your favorite book?"

"Impossible question."

"Top five?" He is desperate.

"Hmm. The Harry Potter series--that counts as one book, not seven." The crowd laughs. "The Great Gatsby."

The host is engaged. He is listening and smiling. I am my real self and people like me.

"I love The Stand by Stephen King. And every book by Dick Francis."

"Really?" He is surprised that a teenager would read old British mysteries about horse racing. I nod. "Legit. One left."

I laugh. A real laugh. Not a fake tv laugh. "Okay, well, this isn't an actual book, but I love to read 'Turning Pages' fanfiction."

"Really? Are any of them good?"

"Yeah, quite a few. Some are just twisted."

"Like what, give me an example."

"Okay, well. Probably the most disturbing one I read was where Jenna was still my mom, and we had an incestuous lesbian relationship. There aren't a lot like that, but there are tons where the characters aren't related and have a lot of sex. A lot. And of course, there are the ones where I'm a vampire or Jonas is a werewolf. Stuff like that."

"Do you ever interact with the writers? Like, do they know you're reading?"

"They do now." We all laugh. Real laughs. "But no, I don't interact. I'm a lurker, as they say. But I really enjoy reading them, and to all the fanfic writers out there, I just want to say, you are dirty, dirty perverts."