Once Upon a Never

Once Upon a Never: A Short Story

The phrase "once upon a time" I think often gets misunderstood. Whenever someone says "once upon a time" to start a story, it's an obvious hint that the story will end in "and they all lived happily ever after". In my case, that is not true.

All of the stories you have heard about princesses do not always happen. Usually, they overcome some sort of trial, eventually find their prince, then run off into the sunset. It all goes their way in the end, correct?

Well, this is not so in my life.

Just as in every other fairytale, my parents wanted me to marry a prince; Prince Antonio Ramirez of Spain. I would become queen of his country, not mine, which is England.

Of course, I didn't want to marry him. I had my sight on one of my father's servants, Jasper Crispin, long before I even knew of the betrothal. But since I knew my mother and father would never approve, I sought for a discreet way to tell him that I loved him.

I did not know how, so one night, I called to the Woodland Fairies. Fairies are said to give wonderful advice, but they can be mischievous. They tell riddles; I was not looking forward to that part.

After I had dinner with my parents, King Rhys Lachlan and Queen Antoinette Brun, I went to my chamber where I was to council with the fairies. My mother was once a Duchess of France before she got betrothed to my father, who had been in line for the throne of England since birth. They agreed to wed for unexpected reasons in the "arranged marriage" world. They fell in love.

In my opinion, that was sheer luck, and love is never luck. Love does not like to cooperate with mankind. It simply causes destruction and tragedy. But not in the case of my perfectly royal parents. Their lives have been chocolate and diamonds, but not mine. Even as their daughter, I shall not have a brilliant life with love.

As I awaited the Fairies' arrival, I paced the length of my bedroom. All of my possessions were scattered about for earlier that day I was searching for the payment regarding the advice I would soon be presented. I found that little pouch and kept it with me throughout the day.

Then I heard a little hushing just outside my window. Pouch in hand, I strode over and opened the glass toward the black night sky. Sure enough, my eyes beheld three Woodland Fairies, arguing in riddles I didn't understand. Their appearances basically consisted of the features of phasmids with leaves for wings. At least, they looked like leaves.

"Are you the Woodland Fairies of the North?" They nodded. "I have been awaiting your arrival." The fairies stopped arguing and gave me a rude expression as if saying obviously.

One held out it's tiny, stick-like palm.

"Oh, yes. Here is my payment so now you just answer all of the questions that I may ask you tonight." I handed them the pouch, which should've been much too heavy for the Fairies to carry. But apparently, Woodland Fairies have more strength than they let on. The pouch was opened and they started eating the dirt.

I'm not one to be impolite, but it was the most revolting thing I had ever seen. The Fairies honestly ate like the hogs that were kept by the horse stables.

The dirt wasn't just any old dirt. It was dirt from the royal garden. The Woodland Fairies will not eat dirt from any other place.

When they were done with their little feast, I took back the now empty pouch and set it aside.

"To make this meeting easier for me," I said, "I am going to have to learn each of your names." The Fairies sighed, but remembering their promise and my payment, they seemed to agree. I guess I didn't really ask a question, but they still answered. The one on the right stepped - or flew - forward. It said in a high pitched voice: