WoF OC Reviews

Polaris

Personality: Polaris is untrusting towards other dragons, especially towards Nightwings. He's also cynical towards Nightwings, as he believes they only care about themselves and that they don't care about anything else. When he is befriended however (which can take a lot of time and patience), he can be sweet and caring. Polaris often puts his life on the line for his friends, and he cares about them more than he does family even. He's a slight bit of a quiet type, but he does speak his mind when he believes he has to.

I see your OC is the "distrusting/hostile towards dragons but is protective, sweet, caring and loyal towards their friends" OC, which is generally okay but do keep in mind that this is incredibly generic. When you want to make a distinct character, you need to exaggerate a few of their traits and steer them away from the characteristics that almost every OC has. It's common for dragons not to trust other dragons but trust their friends; it's not making him any more unique at all.

I'll be honest with you: your OC's personality is generic, and I've probably seen this exact personality or a similar version of it at least 50 times across the internet. My recommendation? Scrap the whole personality and find four strong traits that you want your character to be, two positive and two negative. These traits will be the base of your character's personality, so you might need to exaggerate these traits (Ex: instead of "quick to anger", put "explosive"; instead of "generally happy", put "cheerful and extroverted"; etc.) in order for them to adequately represent your character.

Backstory: Okay, before I begin, I'll explain how Polaris is 75% Nightwing and 25% Icewing. His grandmother is pure Nightwing (her name is Destinyteller) and his grandfather is pure Icewing (his name is Izotz, which is Basque for ice). They had eggs and one of them just so happened to be Eternityslayer.

Okay, so the names are pretty good up until we get to Eternityslayer, which not only makes no sense but I feel like it's just exaggerated for literally no reason. Tone the name down a lot. Replace the name with something a bit simpler and less extra, preferably describing their occupation, abilities, etc.

Eternityslayer then had three eggs with a Nightwing (her name is Starchaser), and one of those eggs were Polaris'.

Usually, I would say something about the fact that Ice/Nights are strange and don't make sense, which they don't usually, but I'll let it slide since this is a bit further in the future, so it might be a bit more common.

However, I do feel like there still should be an explanation on how they managed to meet up and fall in love. Like all hybrids, not just Night/Ices, there needs to be a reason behind their pairing.

Okay, so onto the actual backstory: so Polaris hatched with both of his brothers, Black Ice and Orion. However, Starchaser was hoping for females and killed Black Ice and Orion at the age of two.

WOAH

W H A T

Okay, THAT is... wrong. And why did she wait for two years? And why did she kill them just because she was "hoping for females"? Surely she was slightly... ill, somehow? There's no way someone would do that without a solid reason, or they were not exactly right in the head, and you never mentioned it. Additionally, if she WERE a bit ill, surely Eternityslayer would've noticed?

When she got to Polaris, Eternityslayer stopped her and said that he sensed that there was something special about him.

So Eternityslayer just... let her kill his sons? Why? Why did he let her do that? Why is he so okay with that? Are they just a couple o' crazies?

I guess it would make sense for Eternityslayer since he's an animus and seems to use his power a lot, so his sanity would be diminished, but you give no valid explanation behind Starchaser's apparent lack of rationality.