Chat Message (Joshua Hong Fanfiction)

CM 1.5 - SPECIAL CHAPTER

A/N: This confession was posted months after the incident. Thank you~

SVTU Secret Files
Sept 4 at 11:45 PM • 🌎

MY GENTLEMAN

Just call me Han. I'm just an ordinary girl on my own perspective yet people treat me more than that. When I'm in my 2nd year, I never fail to receive presents every time I went to school. Chocolates, flower, teddy bears, and even a pile of love letters inside my locker and on my desk. At first, I was flattered. Really. But as the time goes by, I never thought the same thing as before.

Aren't they getting tired of it? They're wasting their money for a girl like me. I didn't mean to offend but, what's the benefit of it to you all?

Students expressing their admiration towards me in the means of gift. Confessions all over hallways, classes, and even on the bulletin board. I'm happy yet I'm disappointed.

I thought I never feel the crazy thing students keep on talking about. But then I met him, my ex-boyfriend. Vince-not his true name. He's the kind of guy who's not fond of those I said earlier. He made me fell for him because of his sweet voice. He's a part of a band representing our school. We spent our two-year relationship being tied with each other. Our 3rd anniversary came. I thought he'll gonna surprise me-well, he really did. It was mind blowing. It blown my mind out of my skull. I saw him kissing another girl at my favorite corner of the library. Cliché in beginning and ended up in a cliché scene too.

But, this confession isn't about my douchebag ex. It's weird if I ended it like this yet the title says the contrary. Let's go back where we are.

Break up sucks. Definitely. The broken pieces of your fragile heart seems stabbing every part of your body. I'm standing in a vast dessert with my feet buried into the ground. Unable to move, unable to seek for an aid, and unable to utter a single word. In short, I am buried six feet from the ground and alive-just, figuratively.

I thought, I will stay in the darkness until I receive a strange message from a stranger. I found out that we are friends in Facebook cause I don't remember when I accepted him. Even I didn't send him any reply, still, he's sending me a bible verse every single day.

I was like, is this guy kinda playing a prank or what? It's my first time receiving bible verses from someone I didn't even meet. But thanks to him. Thanks to my gentleman who lifted me up on my most vulnerable days.

Days later, I finally decided to talk to him. I learnt that we are classmates in a certain class. We talk about things started at 7:18 PM. You clever Josh, I already figured out what does it mean and it makes me cry every time I'm back reading our previous conversations.

We love each other. I'm sorry if I misunderstood everything. I'm sorry for being immature. I'm sorry for hurting you all this time.

Why didn't you tell me? I keep on telling you about the guy in my dreams. The one who leave me behind. The reason why I'm forgetting my past! Why didn't you tell me it was you, Josh? The one I'm longing to be with since I'm a kid was actually you. There's always a free time that you could tell me EVERYTHING yet to chose to waste it. You actually blame yourself because I was sent to the hospital 10 years ago. Is that why you say that you're sorry whenever we hang out?

But, that isn't important now, Jagi... Even though I only remember bits of what happened in the past and not completely remember everything. Even though you are not able to tell me everything about us in past. That was not important anymore. Because the guy I'm in love with isn't with me.

I'm sorry. If only I let you explain your side that day, you will never disappear from my sight. I miss you, Josh. I wish I was the one who fell from the river bridge. I wish I was the one who died. I wish... I wish I could hold you again. Maybe, we can meet each other up there. I love you.

Han
BSBA
SVTU

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