Examine

sixteen

ASHLEY

He comes to me in the dark, his lips descending on mine, and within moments my legs are open. My naked body is set alive by the feel of his weight on top of me.

He bites into my neck in warning before his long length fills me in one driving stroke.

"Michael," I moan into his neck.

He claims me like I'm his to take. There is a warring gentleness within this moment as he gazes into my eyes. "Ashley, I -"

"Don't say it," I gasp. We can only have this moment in silence, the sensual pull of our bodies is the only connection we can forge.

Sorrow fills his eyes, but he continues to rock his hips, each life-changing thrust sending me closer to the brink.

Then, I'm falling. My head falls back, and I feel so open beneath him. He could carve my sternum open and place his own heart right beside mine. I feel like I'm splintering into millions of pieces, and when everything comes back together again, I'm no longer the same person I once was.

Michael roars above me, his movements stilling.

There's a ringing noise, a persistent blaring that dissolves the edges of my dream. I sit up in bed, the sheets tangled around my legs and salacious thoughts about Michael still running through my head. I feel unbearably aroused as if a single touch will send me tumbling over the brink again.

My phone is still ringing, I blindly grab for it and swipe up. I put it to my ear and Jack's voice fills the line.

"Ashley, it's me."

"Jack!" My voice squeaks out. My heart is still beating rapidly, but this time its fear setting me on edge. Did he know? How did he know about that dream I had?

Don't be ridiculous, I tell myself. He's not psychic.

But then guilt steals over me, settling over my shoulders and the back of my throat. What was that dream?

Jack didn't deserve a girlfriend who fantasised about his brother. No one deserved that. But especially not Jack. We had been best friends long before we started dating.

"Are you okay?" Jack asks slowly, as if he can hear how breathless I am over the phone, the panic attack I'm on the verge of having.

"Yes," I trill as if I'm about to try out for a musical. I stumble out of bed, trying to get away from the crime scene, so to speak.

"Hmm," Jack replies. "Look, I'm really sorry for not turning up to Saeko's - was it okay?"

"Yes, it was lots of fun."

I don't mention that it was mostly fun because of Michael.

"That's good."

There's an awkward pause in the conversation and I don't know how to fill it. Normally, Jack and I can at least maintain a conversation, but it feels like the distance has pulled us apart, and I don't know how to be with him anymore.

If I even want to be with him anymore.

Jack has been labelled one of the sexiest men in the world, and yet, talking to him, shame is the only emotion pulling me apart.

I'm lying to him by pretending everything is okay. I'm lying to someone I trust and value so much.

I need to break up with him.

The sooner the better.

But not over the phone.

"Jack, will you be back for my dad's wedding?"

It is only two weekends away, not that long in the grand scheme of the time we'd spent apart. I could tell him then.

"Yes, of course, I promised I would be," Jack says.

I don't mention that he also promised that he would be back for Saeko's. Words between Jack and I are starting to become meaningless, I wonder when the dissolution of our relationship began?

Was it when he left? Or when I didn't notice his absence, consumed by my own work? Was it when I asked him to visit and he never did? Or when he told me it wasn't worth my time and money to visit him on set?

Was it really when Michael entered my life - or did that just illuminate everything that was wrong with our relationship?

"Cool, I'll see you then," I respond, not even trying to put false cheer into my voice.

I'm sick of trying, lying. I can't pretend we are still the same.

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a/n: Thanks for reading! I'd be so grateful for any feedback you have so feel free to vote and comment your thoughts. This chapter is posted a bit early because it is super short, there'll be another update on Sunday. Much love, Jessica ♡