Sneak Peak

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Hi Guys! I'm back with more news. I'm still debating the publishing but I've decided to republish MSBK with Harry's POV and more cut scenes.

How's a sneak peak? Let me know your thoughts.
_________

I can't believe her. This is unbelievable. She's unbelievable.

"I think this is what we need."

I stare up at her in disbelief.

"You honestly think you can replace her?"

Burying my fingers in my hair, I have the urge to scream. Photo shot shows a young boy, brown fringe falling gracefully on his frames, cherry red lips  parted slightly.

"I don't want this. I don't need this mom."

His rosy cheeks resemble those found on petals in the spring, piercing blue eyes resembling the sky as the sun rises on a horizon every morning in a city that isn't cursed.

A city that isn't mine.

"I don't want a step brother. I just want my sister back and I am never going to get her back so stop thinking you can just swap some foster kid for her."

"Harry, she's never coming back."

I know, I know this, but she doesn't. She thinks I'm the one in denial but it's all her. She continues to seek her fulfillment to a child that isn't alive anymore.

"This boy in foster care, what's his name?"

"His name is Louis."

"Louis isn't going to bring Gemma back mom."

I close the portfolio she brought me and stand from the table, pushing it back towards her.

"Harry please."

I shake my head and turn to exit the dining room. Slamming my own door shut, I pull out my shoebox from under the bed. The small little bag is hidden between the box covers, my sweet little escape.

Her eyes.

It doesn't even matter what I say. The decision has been made. She wasn't even asking my permission. I know he'll be here any-day now.

I place the little white powder across my night stand and just inhale it all in.

I can't go through this once more.

Louis

Sweet little Louis, what will your demise be? Will you drown? Will you overdose? Will my existence destroy you?

At least that's something I have control over.
_________

As I expected, I look out my window, and he's here. My mother escorts him out the vehicle and he looks at the house in astonishment.

And so do I.

He's beautiful.

All the excitement will soon be gone. All the hope will soon be gone.
All my self control...

I can't help but feel a tug in my chest. Running back to my dresser, I take two more hits. This is the only way to feel numb.

Except it's not working.

Rage builds up inside me. Pain, Betrayal, and Awe.

"H-Hello?"

I'm not sure what's happening, my mind is spinning and before I know it, he's staring up at me, lips parted in shock.

My hands are up in the air, hanging, and I realize too late I've pushed him to the ground. He's trembling. He's in fear.

He should be.

And yet, there's something else in his eyes.

Words are pouring out of my mouth before I can process them, and I can see how slowly I crumble the light inside him. It's an out of of body experience.

I yell and yell and can see fear as I hold his small figure in the air. Mother is yelling at me now and everything is a blur. I am responding but I am not present.

He's trying to call my mother his mother and I put an end to it before it can progress.

Mom has left now and all that's left is Louis and me in a room watching Looney Tunes. I can hear myself pouring rules down Louis throat and he agrees in fear, as that is all he can do.

"You know what has to be done Harry."

A small girl waves at me from across the room, hair soaking wet. Her face pale and lips blue, sends chills down my spine.

Before I can process what's going on, Louis is flat on the floor begging for his mom.

He screams and cries as I see myself picking him up, resisting his battle. Dragging him out of the living room, I begin to feel dizzy.

Gemma shakes her head as I stop at the closet entrance, debating to put him down. To let him go. He's trembling in fear.

"You're the reason I'm dead Harry. You let me go."

"Harry please!"

Louis begs as I set him down in a closet, turning the light off and locking the door behind him. Louis bangs on the door and I can feel tears rolling down my face.

"If only you were this brave when I needed you, I'd still be here."

Gemma stands next to me in front of the closet door. She extends her arm and tries to reach for my hand. Before I ever get to feel her skin, her figure disappears in thin air.

I stare at the mirror across the hallway and can see her in the distance, as well as all the white powder dripping down my nose along with blood.

This time I will do things right.

Louis cries can be heard from across the wood. Leaning against the dark door, I let myself fall until I'm flat on the ground. He promises to follow all orders and do as I say if I let him out.

If only I had done this years before.

I let him out and we spend the next few hours in his room, as he tries to calm down. The drugs are wearing off. The confusion is wearing off. And all I can see is him.

How he tugs me closer to him in his sleep, his soft features soothing and undeserving of the tears in his eyes.
Beginning to take him in, take all of him in, I realize what huge mistake this all has been. The gasp that escapes my lips awakes him suddenly, feeling his persistent gaze on me.

His head rests on my chest peacefully and instead of pulling his fingers away from my shirt, he holds on tighter, eyes locked through it all. I run my fingers through his hair softly and can feel him melt into my body even more, pulling the duvet covers over our bodies.

He falls back to sleep.

He won't remember any of this.

Not knowing what drives me, I feel a magnetic pull and I am unexpectedly pressing a kiss to his forehead. He sighs in his sleep.

What have I gotten into

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