Falling (in love) [eng] k.js & m.ls

Standing

Stage Five:

Standing [up]
(might be the most important stage)

*°*

Barely a month later, Jisoo understood that she couldn't spend her time crying herself to sleep anymore.

Because, frankly, it was... pathetic.

And also, the dark circles underneath her eyes made her look dead, and if Jisoo didn't care about a lot of things in her life, her face was definitely one of them. She could not stand looking like she just escaped of a coffin.

Plus, if she accidentally saw Lisa in the streets, she had to look perfect, so the girl would understand what she had lost, and come back to her crying, and they would spend their night making love to make up for the loss time and...

...maybe Jisoo was getting too far. But you get the point.

But beside that, the raven haired girl was going completely crazy.

The younger girl occupied all of her thoughts, all of her dreams. It had been one month, and Jisoo still forgot sometimes that she wouldn't have her usual date with Lisa like before. Her life was becoming hell, and she knew she had to do something.

Either move on, or find the courage to talk to Lisa.

She tried to move on, tried to replace Lisa with some vulgar immitations, tried to replace the feeling of security that came when the blonde girl was holding her, or the adrenaline when they shared those sinful nights. But no one could compare to her, no one came close to that.

So that left Jisoo with one solution.

Talk to her.

It wouldn't be easy, because the last time they talked, Jisoo had been pretty harsh with her. But she hoped that Lisa knew she didn't mean what she said, that she said it because of the anger, and the sadness, and mostly the feeling of trahison.

She had to apologize at the very least, even if the girl didn't want to see her after that (even if it would crush Jisoo's heart).

Now, obviously she wanted more after the apologies, and obviously, she wouldn't if she knew that Lisa was happy in her relationship.

But... that was the thing. Lisa wasn't.

Or at least it didn't seem like it at all. Jisoo hadn't talked to her since the last time, but people talked a lot, and what they said about Lisa and Seulgi... it wasn't good. Not at all. Jennie confirmed it when she saw them the other day, she told Jisoo how they seemed like complete strangers even though they were supposed to be dating, and that made Jisoo wonder why did the blonde girl replace her if her new girlfriend didn't make her happy?

Well, sure, the raven haired girl wasn't her girlfriend, never had been, but it was close enough, wasn't it ?

... and then it hit her. Lisa didn't replace her. Lisa wanted a relationship. Jisoo didn't give her that.

It had always been Jisoo's fault. And she was too dumb to even realize it.

Maybe Lisa didn't want her like that but... at this point, it didn't matter anymore. She knew that she had to talk to Lisa, and she had to do it fast. No matter what her answer would be.

Jisoo had nothing to lose, anyway.