The Pureblood Princess | Sirius Black

|78| The Pancake Murderer

"Pancakes?" Adelaide offered Regulus, gesturing to a large stack of his brother's favorite food.

Regulus shrugged, almost smiling. "I'm really more of a waffle person myself..."

Adelaide nodded, then looked uncomfortably down at her fingers, biting her lip, not knowing what to say.

After a few more excruciating moments of dense awkward silence, Regulus couldn't take it anymore. "Addy, I'm really sorry about what I said— I really didn't mean it... I just—I think I just get all caught up in that stuff sometimes..." he said in a rush.

Adelaide's eyebrows were knitted together. "But why? I don't understand why you would say it if you didn't mean it..."

"Because I—Addy you have no idea what it's like. Trying to be perfect—"

"I know better than you think—" she said darkly.

"No. But your parents—I think that deep down they know you don't agree with them... but mine—I-I don't want to let them down... they're my family..." Regulus said, grappling for the words to make her understand.

Adelaide frowned. "But they're wrong."

"They are about a lot of stuff... but you have to see that there's a little bit of truth to what they say—"

"What?!" she exclaimed. She didn't understand how he could even say something like this.

"Just listen, there's a reason why we keep our magic a secret—even the Ministry doesn't trust muggles with the truth—"

"Regulus—" she warned.

"It's a fact. Now, I'm not saying I hate all muggles—I think Lily is amazing—"

"Lily isn't a muggle!"

"—but I'm just saying... maybe the issue isn't black and white. There are bad muggles out there just like there are bad wizards—"

"Reggie. Please, just stop." she said in a small but intimidating voice that reminded Regulus a lot of her father.

Once again, several minutes of heavy silence fell upon them, crushing their words into nonexistence before they had a chance to leave their mouths. 

Regulus's shoulders rolled forward once again. "Addy... I really am sorry."

"Are you?"

"I-I am." he said, dark grey eyes looking at her in desperation and guilt. "I shouldn't have said all that about Sirius, or Lily...I-I miss you Addy... and I want to be your friend still... but I understand it if you don't want to be mine."

"I miss you too." she said without even realizing the words were leaving her lips. It was the truth, of course. But as she looked at his brokenness, she couldn't help but think that the person she really missed wasn't the person standing in front of her.

She missed the big hearted boy he was before; the boy who gushed about his house elf and magical birds and lived with his heart on his sleeve. The boy who ran all around campus to grab her flowers, and who giggled watching the vibrant green bird dance. She missed the boy he was before being weighed down by the darkness.