What is High School?

Chapter Seventeen: Junior Year: Discovery

Aromantic: a person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others. Where romantic people have an emotional need to be with another person in a romantic relationship, aromantics are often satisfied with friendships and other non-romantic relationships.

It is never too late to discover yourself. Never too late to come to a realization. This is what I've discovered when deciding to come out as aromantic. I wasn't born this way, growing up I've experienced romantic feelings.

I've fallen in love before. Once with a man and twice with two different girls.

I hate feeling this way if I'm being honest. I miss being able to love. I think, though, I feel this way because every time I fell in love...my heart was broken. So my heart just shut off. I have this intense want to love someone...but I just can't.

I remember what it was like to love, and I admit it felt nice.

It felt nice to hug onto someone's waist, to kiss someone on their cheek and just look at them smile up at you. To get a racing heart whenever you see them. To feel fuller, to feel invincible.

It was amazing to kiss someone and feel like a flame just lit up in your heart. To hold their hand or just touch them in general and feel fireworks on your skin.

The very first time I fell in love was when I was about eleven. It was in junior high with a boy. I was bisexual at the time. I loved him for two years until I moved away.

Then I turned thirteen. I fell in love with a girl for the first time. I'm obviously not saying her name but yeah. She was pretty cool. She broke my heart twice and treated the situation like it was nothing. I was heartbroken and was obviously messed up for months, but did she care? No.

Then I turned fifteen...

I wrote about this girl in this book.