What is High School?

Chapter Three: Freshmen Year: Relationships

This is not a long chapter or a hard one for me to write. Relationships. Freshmen year there was a lot. My first one was with Sage. He thought I was like fifteen but really I was thirteen. I thought he was a freshmen like me, but he was a sophomore.

Within a week we were already flirting with each other. We were always together. Then one day I asked him out. He said yes. I remember giving Elina a huge hug and squealing because something went right for me for once. This relationship lasted for a month. What he had told me when we broke up was that his mom found out that I was only thirteen and he was fifteen. Which wasn't even a legitimate thing to get angry over, because we were only a year apart, but our birthdays were really far apart, in fact, my birthday was in two months at the time.

I remember being so heartbroken that I pushed him away from me, and cried. I remember I cried for weeks after that. I didn't even allow myself to move on before I started to date someone else. Within four days...I started dating a girl. Another sophomore who was actually 16. Her name was Sophie. I feel bad, because she really liked me...while I was only using her to make Sage jealous. That relationship crashed and burned within another four days. After that I started to date a freshman named Xander, also, he genuinely liked me, while I just wanted to get over Sage.

Then there was another girl who I started to date towards the end of the year. Her name was Adrianna. She was a Sophomore who was 16. She was a masculine lesbian. My first female love. A lot happened between us. To sum it up, we didn't last longer than a week. Because I wasn't out to my family and she didn't like that.

But that's ok. Because you know what these people taught me in the end? These people taught me how to love, these people taught me what it was to love someone, because I had the completely wrong idea of what it meant to really care about someone. I remember that when I first came into high school I had no confidence, I was wearing baggy clothing and slouching, never daring to put my head up. But when I started to date Adrianna, she taught me that I am beautiful, that I should be confident in the way that I look. Now I am. I know that I am beautiful and I know what it means to truly care about someone.

So I do appreciate that part of the experience. I wish I didn't have to have my heart broken in order to see it, but at least now I recognize what love is and that I am a person worth both living and loving.

Word Count: 420 

*Names have been changed