Emo Boys Rock (New version - Boys Like Noah)

17) Mother. Brother. Father. But who am I? (part 3)

“How long you’re going to be around.” I sighed. “He’s the one thing in my life that you haven’t ruined. If you don’t stay around for a long time, you could easily ruin what I have with Noah and then walk away as if nothing happened. But, and this is just a but because we all know you won’t… but if you do stay around for a long time, then sure. I guess it’s not something I can easily avoid then. But if you do ruin him, or what I have with him then you’re gone. You’ve lost your daughter and you’ve lost everything you came back for.”

“Tom, give us a second.” She brushed him away. I wondered if we’d all lived together, like how Sean, dad and myself lived, if she’d still brush him away like breadcrumbs off a table.

“Where do I go?” He asked annoyed. He didn’t make eye contact with me since coming outside. I thought that was strange but living the life I lead, what isn’t strange?

“Just take a walk. Listen to your ‘emo’ music.” She laughed. Great. She was up to date with insulting modern words.

“It’s not emo mum….” He sighed, and with that I rolled my eyes. I’m guessing he was fed up with his mum trying to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’. I gave up trying to teach my dad how to be normal a long time ago.

“Don’t worry, ‘emo’ music, is awesome music.” I told him before he left.

He murmured something under his breath. I couldn’t quite catch what he said. But oh well. What happened to the nice kid back inside? He could have been related to me. But not a moody teenager. I do not handle moody very well.

“Abbie, I know I’ve been a crap mum. But you’ve got to understand that Oliver, he’s been the greatest dad to you. I couldn’t have left you with a better person.” She smiled kindly.

“You left me with the right person. He’s been the only parent I’ve had in my life, and I’ve turned out pretty damn amazing.” I chuckled, but I didn’t want to give her false hope. “And my brother, and my best friends had taken it upon themselves to become my mum and my dad in one. How do you think that makes me feel? Getting unwanted sympathy by the people you love?” I wanted her to feel guilty. She couldn’t just be one of those mothers that leaves when she wants and comes back when she needs something. Or just quite frankly wants to feel a part of something.

“Abbie, let me explain. You promised ten minutes. And that’s all it’ll take.” She smiled and I sighed and nodded. She best be quick. “Oliver was so willing to look after you. He couldn’t let you go away. He didn’t want Tom to leave either so we decided that we’d keep one of you each, a bit like that movie… Parent Trap? He had you and I had Tom. And yeah, you are right. I have been the shittiest mother to the both of you. Drinking, taking pills. Doing things a mother shouldn’t be doing. But Abbie, not once did I forget you. I mean I tried. I tried so hard to forget the fact that I’d left my baby girl with a man and his son to look after. He’s been so kind. And he really wanted to tell you this, maybe even tell you together. But I thought if you’re going to hate someone, then you might as well hate me. Abbie…”

“No. Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say! No! He is my dad! Sean is my brother! You! You are nothing! Tom is nothing! You both are not related to me!” I screamed. I was slowly figuring it out. I couldn’t breathe. I could see the words slipping out of her mouth. My world being torn apart. My whole life! A lie! And she had the guts to not let my father be with me when she told me?!