AUGUST 2013
SUICIDE ATTEMPTS: 1
"Ria, it's time to get up." I turn away from the door and clutch my patched quilt in my hand. Every morning my mother comes in to wake me up and every morning I dread the day ahead.
"Can I just have five more minutes?" I stare at the floor hoping to hear her footsteps walking away but she stays perfectly stationary.
"Ellerie you've been awake for hours, it's about time you got ready for school." She starts to swing the door back and forth causing a terrible squeaking noise to fill my ears. I turn to face her.
"Can you stop that?" She holds the door handle tight and forces it to stop moving.
"Will you get up?"
"Remind me why I can't just be homeschooled again? The reason becomes less and less valid every day I go to that hell-hole." I sigh and my mother looks at me as though she's hurt or even ashamed.
"Doctor Whilden gave me strict orders to keep you in school. Seeing other people once in a while is good for your health."
"My health is fine, I eat my five a day." She crosses her arms, "Oh, you meant my mental health? That's fine too, I only imagine killing six people a day now." I laugh but she doesn't catch the joke, or doesn't find it funny. Trust me to be stuck with the parents who have no sence of humor.
"You shouldn't say things like that Ellerie, it isn't funny."
"It wasn't a joke. It used to be seven." I tell her and suppress a smile as I step out of my bed. When my feet touch the ground a blue, yellow and white hospital gown stares me in the face.
"Wait, what happened last night?" I ask my mum as she walks over to help me untie the mess of fabric.
"You started screaming at around 11 and your father came in to find you lying on the floor with a massive cut across your thigh. We drove you to the hospital, you were in a lot of pain so they gave you medication. I'm not suprised you don't remember it, you kept asking who you were." She finishes untying the bow and hands me a pair of jeans and a top. "Would you like to tell me where you hid the knife?"
"Mum I don't remember falling asleep, never mind where I allegedly hid a knife."
"Allegedly? We couldn't find it anywhere!"
"If I was in as much pain as you said, how would I have had enough time to hide a knife?" She doesn't answer but instead walks out of my bedroom and closes the door.
I slip the gown off and pull my grey jeans over a tightly wrapped bandage on my upper left leg. Once I manage to get them on I put on the t-shirt my Mum chose, a plain blue oversized top with short sleeves. I might as well go to a uniform school as I wear pretty much the same outift every day anyway. Once my shoes are on I look down at my clothes, the bandage stands out through my jeans but I suppose I don't have to worry about having to explain it to everybody since the whole town probably knows what happened already.
"Ellerie-Soroya hurry up and get downstairs!" My Mother shouts up to me, snapping me out of whatever daze I was in and reminding me there's a time I need to be at school. I take my first proper step and immediately feel a sharp shooting pain running up my leg. How on earth am I going to manage today if I can't put pressure on the thing without wanting to scream.
"Mum can you help me with something?" I shout to her and she runs up the stairs and into my room. Greeting me in a matter of seconds.
"W-what do you need help with?" She stutters and I realise I must have worried her again.
