A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

17

"Wait!" I stop him from striding down the hallway. "Where are you heading off to?"

"I'm getting breakfast." Levi finally spoke since he didn't mind answering. "How about having some tea with me?"

As always, we're usually the ones awake first while the others are still in deep slumber. It's not like he sleeps anyway. Levi and I entered a dimly lit room filled with nothing but a wooden table and a porcelain tea set. Perhaps this is where Levi spends his tea time alone, but this time, he invites me as a company. While he was preparing some hot tea, I took a seat across from him and watched how he seeped the tea into the teapot. Then, he poured a cup for me and I nodded. "Thank you..."

This sunless room was silent and Levi was enjoying his tea, but I couldn't understand how his tongue could handle how piping hot it was. I blow into my teacup before taking small sips until I burn my upper lip, yelping at the slight pain and Levi lifts his eyes at me. He then sets his tea down on the table. "Is it too hot for you?"

I shyly waved in embarrassment. "I-It's nothing! I accidentally drank too fast!"

I was embarrassed even more when my stomach made a weird noise, and I could feel his eyes judging me a bit.

"There's some bread and crackers on the table if you feel like eating," Levi said bluntly, putting his hand over his teacup to hold it around the edge. His way of grasping the cup was strange, but I kept it to myself. I take one into my hand and begin nibbling on it until Levi interrupts.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

"Huh?" I blinked, lifting my head to find him staring into my eyes from across the table. Levi probably thinks I'm deaf at this point, so he repeated himself. "You were going to my office earlier. Was there something you wanted to inform me?"

That's right, there is something that I want to say to him. I was shy to say it in the past, but now is a good time since this will probably be our first and last meal together.

"I didn't have the chance to say this in the past, but thank you..."

His eyes widened for a second, and he slowly relaxed in his chair. "Why are you thanking me?"

"That day when you saved me from a titan... I feel like I should thank you for that."

"Tch." Levi shrugged off the cheesiness from me, then took another generous sip of his tea. "I only did what I had to do."

"But that tells me you're not a bad person." I tried to compliment him, but he cringed instead.

Sulking back in his chair, he rests his legs on the table. "Nothing good will come out of you knowing, but I'm not a nice person," he spoke with integrity. "Since you can be put in danger because of me, we need to keep our distance..."

"But I don't regret being with you, Levi... even if you do dangerous things!" I finally confessed, and he was surprised when I was leaning over the table. My eyes were filled with faith and I wanted to trust him no matter what. Deep down, I know he is a pure soul with a tormented mind.

Levi lowered his head, his bangs covering his eyes and he heaved out a long sigh. "Those words will have heavy consequences, so please be careful of what you say," he warned as his heart was numb. "Please don't think I'm a good person..."

It's his loneliness and despair speaking, which tells me his soul was never healed. Is there any way for those feelings to stop suffocating him? Will those dark feelings ever pass?

"I want to help you." More like save him from his misery. Yet again, there was that awkward silence. The dry bread needed to be washed down with black tea, so I took a long sip to keep my mouth shut.