once // calum hood

7

"What about back in October when I was called and threatened because I apparently accused Calum of being my baby's daddy? I don't even have a kid!" My cheeks were starting to get red, I had moved on, but it would still be nice to have some answers.

"We tried to get that fixed but by the time we reached out to our management they said they spoke to you and it was handled. I wouldn't have ever thought they'd do that to you, so we're sorry for that part." Ashton says before taking a bite of his sandwich.

I don't know what to think. They shouldn't be the ones apologizing for any of this. I shouldn't be discussing Calum with them. I had things to apologize for also, but I wasn't going to do so to them.

"If Calum cares about me like you say he does, what am I supposed to do about it if he won't even look at me?" Another sigh leaves my lips, do I even want to fix this? I've spent the last six months moping because I made the wrong decision and now that I have the chance to make the right decision, something is making me hesitate.

"We decided we're having a surprise party for him here the night after our concert, you could come. We'll be leaving the next day, but I think it would at least help you two get a start on things." Luke has his mouth full as he speaks.

I almost groaned out loud, but I keep it to myself. They're trying to help, but the night before they're leaving again? How am I supposed to know that we're going to be able to make things work if he even agrees to try us again?

This was the worst possible week for classes to start, I'm hoping it's an easy week. I'm already stressed out about them being here and also having to think about going to Calums party.

"Not that you need it, but you should find a hot ass dress to show up in and let him know what he's missing. It's always foolproof." Michael laughs, and I shake my head.

"I don't know if he'd want me crashing his birthday party, it's supposed to be a good time for him." I take another bite of my sandwich.

"I think it might show him that you care too, maybe he's been so angry because he doesn't think there's a chance," Ashton says.

"You don't have to come if you've moved on and think that it won't work. We just know that he was a lot happier with you and you look like you've had some rough couple months too." Luke responds, and the whole table goes quiet for a few minutes while we finish eating.

It feels like I have such little time to make big decisions. I don't know what I want to do.

"I don't want to look like the pathetic ex-girlfriend that just shows up at his birthday party six months later. It feels like an obvious sign that I've done nothing but hate myself for what happened at the airport." I lean back against the seat and throw my head back.

"I'm sorry, our reunion doesn't have to be all about Calum. I've missed you guys too." I give them all a smile, and they laugh.

"I know you want to move on from the subject, but I don't see the harm in showing anyone you care about them. It's better you do than don't." Luke half smiles and I know he's right, that's why it makes this so much harder.

"Has anything major happened to you since we've seen you last?" Michael laughs.

"Depends on what you'd consider major," I laugh, "I lost my best friend, became a full-time nanny to my brother, and passed all of my classes for my first semester of college. Oh and just moved out of my parent's house last month." I shrug, this last semester had really been a blur.

"Are you talking about Kinley? What happened between you guys?" Ashton sits back with me, making himself comfortable.

"She was being Kinley, but it felt a little more extreme. She dragged me to the birthday party of her boyfriend's little brother, and he's only a year younger than us, so it wasn't like super weird. I already didn't want to be there though, and she ditched me to have sex with her boyfriend in the kitchen of the bar. When they were done, she asked me if I missed having spontaneous sex and I didn't answer. She had to be a bitch and push it, telling me I was pathetic for not moving on when I chose to not be with him. Obviously trying to make jabs about Calum. Turns out the only reason I was invited to the party was that she had promised multiple boys they'd get a chance with me by the end of the night. I haven't spoken to her since then."

"That's a bitch move, I wouldn't be friends with her either." Luke scoffs and I nod.

"She did send me the link to the TMZ article about Asher being my kid, but she didn't have anything else to say, so I never replied."

"Why'd you move out? Did you think it was time to be on your own?" Michael asks.

"Oh, you know. One thing led to another and honestly it was a mess. I'm not really speaking to my mother anymore. Sometimes I talk to Lucas but other than that, I'm on my own now." I exhale and run my hand through my hair.

"Your mom seemed like such a nice person this summer, what happened?" Luke narrows his eyebrows and looks at me seriously.

"No judgment from any of you. I tried to go on a date, it ended really horribly. I continued to party that night and woke up the next morning with someone that I thought looked like Cal. That didn't really go well with my emotions so for like a week-ish after that I stayed out all night, and I'd usually barely get home by the time my little brother woke up. I always had to be there by that time at least because I took care of him. One morning I wasn't, and my mother started yelling that I wasn't allowed to just stop watching him whenever I want because she has a job and no time for Asher." Before I can continue, Ashton shakes his head.

"Wow."

"There's more. A few weeks later, I was decorating for Christmas. I left Lucas in the room with Asher for less than thirty seconds. Asher was learning how to walk and pull up on things, so he tried with the Christmas tree and ended up pulling it over on top of him. We had to take him to the doctor, and he ended up being fine, but I got my ass chewed. Like 'How dare you to put my kid in danger? Why would you leave him alone?' and more bullshit. He's my brother, and I'd never hurt him intentionally. I've spent more of his life with him than she has. So basically, Christmas came and went. After all of our relatives had left town my parents presented me with keys to an apartment. I make my monthly payments to them, but I definitely don't get any slack, and that's pretty much all the contact I have with them at this point."

It sucks, it really does. I don't know what's gotten into my mother, but you'd think she knew that she raised me to never even hurt a fly. "And yeah, it's time for me to be independent because I'm almost nineteen, but it didn't have to go down like this."

"Sorry to hear that. At least you're not in an area you're unfamiliar with, that would make it a little scarier." Luke pats my hand that's sitting on the table and I smile. 

"Yeah, now all I need is someone to call me with a job. Oh and someone to convince me to unpack all of my things." I joke. The three of them laugh with me. 

After a little while longer of talking and catching up, Luke said he had gotten a text from Cal asking where they all went. We took this as our time to say bye, and I promised I'd see them before they left even if it wasn't at his party.

I was trying to think of ways to see Calum before the party, and it dawned on me that there was one way. I could just go to their concert.  So when I got home, I immediately started to look at tickets online.

That plan didn't work very well, I hadn't realized the whole tour was sold out. Damn. I'm sure Luke or Ashton would be more than happy to help but it didn't feel right to ask them. Plus, I wanted it to be a surprise. 

I only had one more chance, and it was a super long shot.

To Hayden:
hey, i know it's super late notice but any chance u still have that extra ticket to the 5sos show? if not i understand!! thx

Let's hope this works.

+++++

Happy Tuesday! (it's 12:19 am and I just finished my homework that was due at 12 woohoo)

I wanted to say thank you to the few of you who took time to leave me a message in my inbox or on my profile after I posted that I was going through a tough time with my recent break-up. You guys are so sweet!! I'm feeling a lot better realizing he didn't deserve my time and I know there will be someone even better for me in the future. (ps, if you're going through anything my inbox is always open!)

Don't forget to comment and vote!! 

also, I need more mutuals on twitter so if u want to comment here with ur 5sos accounts I'll follow!!

I love you guys

-kristen