Alps ✰ Ethma

SEVEN

I felt Ethan hiccup against me & I sighed. This boy was so damn broken & nobody cared enough to really ask him what was wrong. He may be a bitch that would both physically & verbally abuse me, but it was clearly only a way of letting his emotions out through anger.

I rubbed his inner wrist in a calming motion & set his encased hand back down next to him, reaching for his other arm. The one that showed all of his pain that had been bottled up, right on his skin.

My fingertips barely touched Ethan's abused arm before he flinched back
& unburied himself from me, moving so that he was back against the side of his bed.

Ethan had his arm cradled tightly against his chest as he looked at me with bloodshot & puffy eyes, biting the inside of his lip. "Ethan I'm not gonna hurt you....?" I said as more of a question, wondering why he backed away. "I know but I don't deserve it." Ethan stated quietly & brokenly, looking down at his lap. "Deserve what?" I asked & Ethan shook his head lightly. "This. Life. You helping me, it's not worth it. I'm not worth it." He explained, his voice cracking as a few silent tears trickled down his flushed face. "Oh, Ethan. Yes you do, I promise. You are worth it." I stated & moved closer to him again.

Ethan immediately moved farther away from me, shaking his head at my statement. "No. I don't." He said, voice wavering. "Ethan stop pushing me away, please. You're right, I don't have to help you. But it's my choice to help you & I want to." I said firmly but quietly, moving closer without him moving away this time. "I'm not worth it. Nobody would miss me if I just ended it all." I heard him whisper sadly, almost to himself. "Ethan that's not true at all," I started & gently placed my hand on top of a few of the cuts on his arm which made him flinch slightly, "Grayson would be heartbroken for starters. Your his damn twin brother Ethan, you can't just leave Gray like that. Your mom would miss you too, a lot. Sean wouldn't admit it, but he would miss his son a lot as well. Your friends would be sad, missing your comedic personality when you're around them. There's plenty of other people that would miss you a lot. I would miss you, Ethan." I explained softly & lightly traced around the cuts on his skin. There was still fresh blood beading on every line cut into his thick skin.

I slowly & gently curled my hand around his wrist, pulling his arm back to me as I examined the mess he made of his skin.

I sighed sympathetically as I smoothly wiped his arm clean of the dried & new blood with the sleeve of my hoodie. Ethan's arm tensed up under my light grip & I knew the cuts were sensitive. I set his arm down on my knee, needing both hands for a moment as I unwrapped the medical wrap from my hand that I had put on earlier after Ethan got into the fight with Cameron. My hand was feeling better & there was nothing wrong with the medical wrap being reused, seeing as I didn't bleed on it.

I gently held him by his forearm & wrapped the medical wrap up & down his arm, securing it with the leftover tape.

Ethan was silent, just watching my actions with a melancholy & hard expression. I gave him a sigh of sympathy as a hot, sticky tear ran down the side of his face silently. I rubbed his bandaged arm softly.

"I'm not judging you. I can almost hear your thoughts with how loud & hard you're thinking." I stated quietly & Ethan quickly wiped his salty tear away.

I set his arm down carefully on my lap & held my arms out. I could tell he wanted comfort but didn't think he deserved it.

Ethan stared at my outreached arms for a few seconds, biting the inside
of his cheek. Well shit, that's embarrassing. I guess he didn't want comfort.

I looked away, avoiding his stare & began to drop my arms when a large body suddenly fell onto me. I looked down, shocked as I saw & felt Ethan gripping my hoodie tightly. He wasn't crying, just half-hugging me tightly. I slowly wrapped my arms around his tense form in return, rubbing soothing circles into his back & the back of his neck.