WoF OC Reviews

Crystal & Shade

I think Shade could probably keep his animus magic, but I feel like there should be a larger impact on their lives due to Shade's (and Crystal's, but I recommended taking that off so...) magical abilities because it's only mentioned in the abilities and sort of mentioned in the appearances. 

Rank: At the moment, they are Jade Mountain teachers

Pretty original, actually. I usually only see JMA students, so the teacher turn is pretty nice.

Appearance: Crystal is a snow white dragon with pale silvery underscales. Her wings are tipped in black and her eyes are blue, with silver teardrop scales near the corners. She wears a necklace created by herself to protect her from Peril's firescales, and had a few scars on her nose from fighting in Scarlet's Arena. Shade is a black dragon with pale silver underscales and wings tipped in white. He has one blue eye and one green eye, which he was often looked strangely at because of. He wears a bracelet with a chunk of obsidian enchanted to protect him from Peril's firescales, and his wings have multiple scars from Scarlet's Arena

Ah. I see. So, in essence, they have the same design (except one of them is a reversed version of the other).

This... is lazy. Really, really lazy. There's no other better way to put it, I'm sorry. You've also left out a lot of details other than the overall coloring, the details relating to enchantments, fights, or otherwise indications of abilities.

Also, only a few scars? They should either have none or a lot. The reason why I say that is because if they didn't heal those scars and they've been dropped in the arena, they should have a LOT more scars. The alternative path to go is the complete opposite direction: no scars at all, due to being completely and entirely healed by the animus magic both of them seem to possess (although I do strongly recommend only leaving Shade as an animi).

Backstory: Subarctic was forced to watch her mate die after surrendering her only egg to his Tribe.

Who was her mate? How did they meet? Why are they together? Lots of questions are left unanswered. Maybe you don't think the answers to these questions are important, but may I remind you you're describing the love story of two dragons who come from tribes who HATE EACH OTHER. They're supposed to hate each other! They've been taught all their lives that they hate each other and why! Maybe you're not really grasping a good image of what this is like. Okay, so you know how you're raised, knowing that Nazis are evil? Okay, now, imagine falling in love with a Nazi. Seems pretty unlikely now, doesn't it?

There has to be a SURE REASON why a dragon falls in love with someone who they've been told to hate and why they're supposed to hate all their life, and you haven't given me anything.

After his death, she stole the egg to raise it on her own, but was gravely injured. Being a very good friend of Queen Scarlet, she made her way to her kingdom, and with her dying breath, she begged Scarlet to save the egg.

Uhhhh... right, so, y'know, Scarlet is good friends with an ICEWING who is LITERALLY FIGHTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WAR.

How the heck did these two even get into contact and meet? They couldn't have met as dragonets due to how far apart they were, and they possibly would've killed each other as adults. IceWings and SkyWings are known to think they're of highest blood and that all other dragon tribes are inferior, and they aren't on friendly terms even aside wars.

Scarlet did just that and raised Shade and Crystal as her own along with Peril.

YOU DO REALIZE SCARLET HATES HYBRIDS?

Upon finding they were both animus, she let them become her Champions in the Arena, and they were undefeated.

We've already gone over this, but no, unless there was a way to manipulate them she would've killed them.