Bucky Barnes/ Winter Soldier One Shots

I Still Need You

"I'm alive." His voice was hoarse from lack of use.

You raised an eyebrow. "Very well observed Barnes. You thought I was gonna leave you there?"

He didn't answer.

You sighed in exasperation and ran a hand down your face, tired and sore from the long day.

"I was watching you. You could have taken those guys down without breaking a sweat. What the hell were you thinking? And why didn't you call for help when you were shot? Have you suddenly forgotten how missions work? I had to drag you out of there, and that was no easy task-"

"You shouldn't have."

You blinked, feeling your anger rise even more. "Are you crazy? What, so I should have just left you there and you would have gotten up and returned yourself? Because it sure didn't seem like-"

"I was supposed to die, dumbass!" Bucky screamed suddenly, lifting himself onto his elbows and making you jump. Your breath caught before it sped up, staring at him in utter shock.

"I wasn't supposed to come back. That was supposed to be it." His voice was softer this time, almost defeated. You felt tears prick your eyes but you blinked them away quickly.

"Bucky..."

"Just leave." He turned with effort, back facing you. "Go."

Your mind was still numb from the implications of Bucky's words. You didn't think before you left the room, shutting the door behind you.

You hadn't talked to Bucky in about a week since his....sort of suicide attempt. Your heart hurt to think he purposely wanted to end his life. You had assumed that he was doing well. Guess you never really know what someone is thinking.

You ached to let Bucky know how much you cared. How much he meant to you. But he seemed to be avoiding you like the plague since that day. You didn't tell anyone else what about what Bucky had tried to do. You knew Steve in particular would go ape shit and likely confront him, and you were sure that wasn't what Bucky wanted. You had tried to get him alone many times but he seemed to always sense it and take off. Finally, you had had enough.

"Bucky, we need to talk." Your voice was loud enough to silence everyone in the living area and make them look at either you or Bucky. He flushed a bit under the attention, scowling and leaving with you soundlessly.

You led him to the balcony overlooking the grounds of the compound. It had just rained, so the air was crisp, light and fresh. You took a deep breath, letting it calm you before turning to Bucky. You had wanted to talk for a week, and now you were blank.

"I don't wanna talk about the other day. Just forget it."

"No." Your reply was firm enough to make him turn to look at you.

"Bucky," your tone was pleading. "I... I care about you so much. I can't imagine a world with you gone. So please, whatever you thought when you did what you did, just know that I can't live here without you. Not seeing your face everyday.... Just the idea terrifies me. Don't you ever, ever try that again. Or I swear, I'll kill you myself."

You took a breath, registering all you had just said. You felt your face grow hot when you realized some things that you said seemed way out of line, but this had to be said. He had to see this.

He had to know that you were in love with him.

It didn't matter anymore if he rejected you. He had to know that someone ached for him. Someone cared so much for him. Bucky Barnes was valuable. He had to know that.

Bucky's features showed shock at your words, eyes darting between yours as if searching for a lie. You let him. He would find nothing but pure truth.

You didn't have time to process what happened next. One minute he was staring into your eyes. The next minute his lips were on yours. You drew in a breath, heart beating hard against your chest. Your hands moved on their own accord, coming up to run through his hair. He pulled you close, leaving no space between you two.

His kiss was soft, yet desperate, as if trying to believe everything you had just said. You put everything you had in that kiss, hands soft in their touch. The prospect of possibly losing him tugged painfully at you, and you kissed him harder.

It felt like an eternity before you pulled away, the need to breathe too strong. His stormy eyes stared into yours, soft now, a strange sort of calm overtaking them. You smiled at him, leaning your foreheads together. A newfound sense of determination filled you. It would take time, but you would show Bucky his worth. You would make him love himself before he even thought of loving you. You would make sure of it.