Alps ✰ Ethma

FIVE

Since he was leaning down onto me, I hooked my chin on his shoulder & hugged him tighter.

"It's okay Ethan, you're alright." I whispered into his ear & he shook his head against my shoulder, that was now wet with his tears. I stroked his jet-black hair softly, trying to calm him down. He inhaled short & shaky breaths in between his sobs.

I felt him pull away suddenly & I looked at his puffy, tear-streaked face. He moved the to empty spot on the wall next to me & mumbled something in between his crying about how it was 'all his fault'. He then began to punch the wall harshly while sobbing, his face was all scrunched up in pain & sadness as he abused his knuckles.

I immediately moved in front of him again & grabbed both of his now bleeding fists, holding them tightly as he weakly tried to yank them from my grip.

"Ethan, Ethan. Hey, look at me. Focus on me okay? You're okay, stop hurting yourself when you didn't do anything." I soothed, while rubbing my thumbs against his split-skinned knuckles. He shook his head as even more sobs racked his body. "Ethan, I promise you that nothing is your fault." I said softly & pulled him back into my arms. He wrapped his arms around me as well this time & buried his wet face into my shirt again, his muffled cries loudly echoing down the hall. Thank God everybody was asleep in the house.

Ethan's body shook heavily as he heaved with more cries. I had been
holding him in my arms for a few minutes mow & he was still breaking down.

I could tell he hadn't cried in most likely a few years from how hard he was crying. Didn't Grayson ever try to comfort him or ask him if he was okay? Maybe that was why Ethan turned into such a jerk. He bottled up his emotions for so long to the point where they turned from sad emotions to angry ones.

Ethan gripped my shirt tighter & started mumbling horrible things about himself in between his heartbroken sobs.

He started gasping while sobbing extremely hard & I got worried. He sounded like he was having a panic attack from crying so much, it sounded like he wasn't getting enough air. He was shakily gasping & letting out ratchet cries against me.

I grabbed his broad shoulders & pushed him away from me slightly. He continued to cry & choke. "Ethan." I said & his actions didn't change. "Ethan you're having a panic attack from not getting enough air, I need you to calm down okay? Take some deep breaths. Just match your breathing with mine." I told him & he continued to sob, now gasping harder as he pushed himself back into my grasp. It was like he wanted more affection & something to cry on.

I gave in, wrapping my small arms back around his sputtering body. "Ethan, breathe." I said, carding my fingers through his hair softly again. He surprisingly listened or at least heard me & he tried taking in deep breaths, causing him to hiccup continuously through his muffled cries. I whispered sweet nothings into his ear as he attempted to calm down.

After what seemed like forever of Ethan choking on air & tears, he finally
seemed to calm himself down a little bit. Somewhere in between his panic attack & calming down, his legs gave out unwillingly so now I was leaning against the wall with my arms wrapped around him as he continued to cry into my shoulder.

Counting all the times I've cried, I don't think I've cried as much in my whole life as Ethan was right now. How long had he held this all in? My stomach lowly aching was now the least of my problems, considering the broken boy that was leaning on me.

"You're okay." I cooed softly as Ethan shook against me. I traced circles soothingly onto his back with my fingertips.

Ethan's loud cries & shaking subsided slowly as I held him. Now he was
just silently crying, his salty tears streaming down his face & into my shirt.