I Can't Help It

Chapter 27: I am Loretta Green

Lori's POV

I've spent about a month on my couch doing nothing. It was driving me crazy. The only upside to the accident was that me and Stan didn't have to go to Joseph's court hearing as witnesses because of our injuries. Which I was glad for because the last thing I need (post-suicide attempt) is to see Joseph and his wife.

Stan and I have both been bed-ridden and out of work this whole time. But he still finds time to call me everyday and we talk for hours. Of course he's been working from home and not listening to his doctor about taking it easy which is typical Stan. Nicole and Trevor also visit me often, watching movies with me, eating up all my food with me, and just making sure I don't go completely insane cooped in this place by myself.

Today my headaches have been going down and I'm hopeful to be back into work soon. I was lucky that my cast was on my left hand so I can still write and get work done.

There's a knock on my door and I open it without questioning who it was assuming it was Trevor.

I open my door to see Ivy.

"Ivy? What are you doing here."

"Ohh well I mean I can always leave if my presence doesn't please you." She frowns.

"No no." I reach out and hug her. "Come in, I'm just surprised to see you." I step back and allow her to walk in after me. We sit on the couch and she looks over my injured hand.

"I noticed you haven't been to work in a while. At first I thought you were just avoiding me and that my craziness scared you off."

"Of course not. I've missed you." My comment makes her smile.

"But when I saw that you weren't at work at all I found out about your accident. How are you feeling?"

"Much better. I was actually thinking I could come back to work soon. I'm so sick of being in this empty apartment alone."

"That's good. I've missed you too." She gives me a smile but then drops it immediately. "Now tell me what really happen?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I'm not dumb Lori. You don't come to me one day at work all depressed and then later have an "accident"." She uses air quotes with her last word.

"Wait how'd yo-"

"Like I said. I've had a hard life. I know when somethings up and I know a depressed person when I see one. No matter how many smiles they try to hide it with." She stares into my eyes daring me to try to lie to her.

I pause to take in her words. I think for a while and take a deep breath. "It might not have been an accident."

"Lori what happened?"

And that question is all it took for me to break down. I started telling her everything. About when I met Joseph, about Stan, and about me pushing myself off my balcony. It flowed out so easily and I don't know why. Ivy just sat with a blank face and listened. She listened through the whole thing and didn't talk until I was done. And when I was done I just sat and waited for her to say something.

"Lori you don't know how wrong you really are."

"Huh?"

"Girl you are not a bad person. You're a smart, hardworking, and good person."

"It's hard to feel like a good person when your staring in the face of your ex lovers wife."

"Hey it's not homewrecking if it wasn't a happy home in the first place. You didn't need Joseph and you never did, if you never met him you would of found your own way to get by. He's the one that needed you. I mean the guy came across the state just to get you back." She chuckles at how pathetic this Joseph guy sounded.

"That's just cause he couldn't handle his pride being hurt."

"No it's because he realized he lost a good person. Lori dating a married man isn't the worse thing in the world and it doesn't define you."

"It's hard to not let it define me when I'm once again dating a older man. I mean he's not married but people still look at us funny."

"Fuck everybody!...Lori can I tell you something?" She yelled and then said calmly.

"Of course, anything."

She looks at me and gets her words together. "I got pregnant at 16. It's no shocker that the teenage father didn't stick around. My parents were extremely disappointed. They practically disowned me. I was completely alone. And I became a stripper to help to take care of my kid."

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm not. I don't let my past define who I am. Yea it wasn't my proudest moment, but I've had many great moments after."

"Like what?"

"Well I didn't get to go off to college at the same time as all my friends, but once my daughter was old enough for daycare I went back to school and got my degree. I worked hard and got a job at our company. Again I had to strip to pay my way through college, but it happened and now I'm in a better place after all of it."

"Is that why people at work gossip about you."

"Yea well a few coworkers might have recognized me from my dancing days, but I don't let it get to me. Cause I know my real story."

"Assholes." I fuss and she laughs at me.

"Now Lori, do you think I'm a bad person?"

"Hell no. You're so brave and hardworking."

"So if you think I'm a good person, you should definitely think that you are a good person too."

I let her words sink in for a bit.

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course I'm right you goof. And don't ever let some man make you feel that way again."

"Deal." I said while fighting a tear of joy from falling. I throw my arms around Ivy and squeezed until my wrist hurt. For the first time in a very long time I felt 100% happy again. I didn't feel like a waste of space. I felt like my old self again.

She stayed the rest of the day and we watched girly movies the whole time. Mainly women empowering movies and chicks before dicks movies. It was just what I needed after my accident.

I honestly didn't know if I had learned my lesson, but after talking to Ivy I knew I had so much more life to live.

Her stay ended when Stan called.

"Okay thanks for coming!"

"Lover boy calls and I get kicked out. Have you learned nothing from the movies we watched today?" She laughed while I pushed her towards the door.

I just ignored her comment and continued to push. "I'll call you tomorrow. Now byeee." I sang the last word.

"Haha bye girl." She rolls her eyes and leaves.

I close the door and answer my phone as soon as I could.

"Hey Stan."

"Hey love. You sound different."

"I feel different."

"Different in a good way I hope."

"Different in a great way."

I can tell he was smiling and it made me smile too.

"Well good cause we're gonna get out of the house."

"What?"

"My injuries are doing much better and I want to get out of the house. And I want us to go out. To dinner. Soon."

The grin on my face was aching my jaws. "Are you sure your up for this babe?" I was excited but concerned he was rushing his recovery.

"Positive. The moment my cast comes off we're going out okay?"

"Name the time and place and I'm there." Again I can tell he smiled even bigger. I never thought my happiness would return, but it did. It finally did.

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Enjoy and vote. :)

Shae