Flower Child

Chapter Forty Three

Tobias turns his head towards me, his dark eyes falling on me. He stands swiftly, turning his body completely towards me. His brows are furrowed, confused, as he raises his gun towards me.
"Drop your weapon," he says.
"Tobias," I say lowly, "You're under a sim."
"Drop your weapon," he says again, "or I'll shoot."
I remember what Jeanine said, he doesn't know who I am. His sim converts friends to enemies, he'll shoot me if I give him no choice.
I slowly put my gun down at my feet.
"Drop your weapon!" he yells.
"I did," I say calmly.
He can't hear me, he can't see me, all he knows is that I am the enemy and he has to take me down. Pressure builds behind my eyes. I can't just sit here and let him shoot me, not when so much is on the line.
   I run at him, grabbing his wrist. I feel the muscles move beneath my fingers as he pulls the trigger, giving me enough time to duck away from the bullet. It hits the wall behind me and I kick him in the ribs and twist his wrist so he lets go of the gun. It clatters to the floor and a new problem arises.
   I can't beat Tobias in a fight, I may be able to keep it up for a little while, but I'll lose eventually. I have to destroy those computers, what happens afterwards doesn't matter.
   I dive for his dropped gun but before I can even graze it with my fingertips, Tobias grabs me and wrenches me away.
   I have less than a second to stare into his eyes, which are dark, confused, and conflicted, before he punches me across my jaw. The pain blossoms across my whole face but my adrenaline fights it away. I can't fall, because if I fall, I'm done for.
I kick away the gun; if I can't grab it, he can't either. Then, I kick at his side in a swift motion that catches him off guard. My leg hits just above his hip and he lets out a growl of pain. I then try to kick his side again, but this time he expects it and he grabs my leg before it can make any contact and he wrenches me forward. I slam to the ground on my shoulder, my head snapping the side. I don't see it, but I know it's coming, he's going to kick me, hard. I roll away from him and onto my knees.
I lunge toward the gun yet I have no clue how it could help me now, it's not like I could shoot him, my landscape proved that.
   His fingers grab my hair and rip me backwards. I grunt, locking my hands over his so he can't rip his hand away, my hair with it. He can't pull back so he does the opposite and slams my head into the wall.
   I let out a scream as my face connects. Did his grip just falter? I surly imagined it, but what if I didn't? He's still in there, somewhere.
   "Tobias?"
   His grip definitely faltered that time. I twist my body and kick, my foot connecting with his leg at his hip. My hair slips through his fingers, freeing me. I sprawl for the gun again, this time he can't grab me. My fingers wrap around the cool metal and I flip over to my back, the gun pointed at him.
   "Tobias," I gasp, "I know you're in there."
   Maybe so, but he's to far gone. He stalks towards me, his face set in stone, he's going to kill me, and I may very well let him.
   "Please," I beg, tears tracking down my face, "Tobias please. Please see me. Please, Tobias!"
   He continues forward in swift powerful movements, his lips set in a deep scowl. I stare into his eyes, deep and thoughtful even though he's under a sim.
   The gun shakes in my hands, shoot him, the voice whispers, the voice from my landscape, Jeanine, shoot him. I already know how this scenario will play out, I've lived through it before, once with him, countless times with my family, and I always choose the same thing, turn the gun on myself and fire, and I'll do it again.
   I flip the gun around and Tobias kneels over me, I press the gun into his palm and he presses the barrel to my forehead.
   I close my eyes as the bullet clicks into the chamber and nod slightly, placing my hand over his heart, "It's ok, it's ok Tobias. Do it, it's ok."
   I wonder what it will be like, when he pulls that trigger, will it hurt, will it be quick, will there be nothing, will there be heaven, will there be hell? I don't care, whatever it is, I will endure it, because that's what I've always done, endured.
   And I'll do it again, one last time.

-Author's note-
   One, sorry this was so short I'll make up for it I swear. Two, sorry it took so long, but I'm in the thick of finals season and have been so stressed out for literally the past month. Three, there is only one more chapter left in this story, it will be up in a day or two after some editing so I just want to say this now, thank you so much to everyone who has read this, Divergent is the book that got me into reading and writing so it holds a very special place in my heart and it always will, this story started a long time ago as just a passion project but I finally posted it and seeing all the love has made me so happy. Thank you so much to everyone who loved this story, and don't fret that it's over, I have some plans for the future ;) ;)