Flower Child

Chapter Three

   I wake with a gasp, bolting upright in the chair. The room spins and I feel myself start to tip over, but a hand holds me upright. The Abnegation woman takes the electrodes off of my head, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed.
   "This is, strange," she whispers, to herself, "lay back down, I'll be right back."
   Her eyes are frantic as she leaves. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail? Did I not fit into any faction? My mind races and I want to cry, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I was supposed to find myself, now I'm just more confused.
   I lift my hands to my face, shielding my eyes from the light as I try to control my breathing, so I won't have a panic attack. My mother's voice whispers in my mind, four seconds in four seconds out, breath deeply Morgana. My heartbeat slows, and the world finally stops spinning, but the peace doesn't last long.
   The woman comes back into the room and she looks at my shaking figure, "I'm sorry to have worried you dear."
   "What's wrong," I ask, sitting up, "what happened?"
   She sighs, "your results, they are inconclusive."
   "What," I ask, my panic rising again, "what does that mean?"
   She stands at my feet, "the simulation is supposed to eliminate one faction after the next to determine your Aptitude. Each test is supposed to lead you to a different path to decide your faction."
   "And what went wrong with mine," I ask shakily.
   She sighs, "no faction was eliminated."
   My eyes open wide in shock, "none? How?"
   "If you had chosen the cheese, the sim would have lead you to a different path to confirm Amity, but since you refused to choose, it didn't happen, and Amity was ruled out, but it came back later when you remembered your mother, which is truly perplexing. Usually the simulation progresses in linear fashion, ruling out each faction till one is left, your choice didn't even allow Candor to happen, which is why I manually put you on the bus. You choose to be Candor and tell the truth, you felt like you knew the man but your didn't know how, but you also showed Erudite when you remembered that the paper had said he was apprehended," she smiles, "which is strange because no one remembers that."
   I feel like I might throw up, I don't understand what was happening, "what about the other factions?"
   "Ah, yes. Well, with Abnegation, you choose to sacrifice yourself to save the little girl," she gestures to my arm, "then, you chose to face the dog, Dauntless, yet you didn't pick the knife which would have directed you towards Dauntless. Plus, you used what you knew, Erudite, to face the dog. I have no idea what to make of your refusal to choose in stage one though."
   I stop her, "so you don't know what my aptitude is?"
   "Well, not exactly," she shakes her head, "my conclusion is that you have aptitude for each faction. People who have more that one are," she pauses, looking over her shoulder as if someone would be standing there, "they are called," she whispers the next word so quietly that I almost don't hear her, "Divergent."
   She walks to stand by my side, grabbing my arm lightly, "Morgana, you cannot tell anyone about this. No one, not even your mother."
   "We're not supposed to share," I say, "I know that."
   "No, this is important Morgana. This, Divergence, it's dangerous. And you, my dear, are rare, no one, has ever gotten each faction, no one. Most only get two, or rarely three. Now you, all five, you are special. You cannot share your results, do you understand," she asks.
   No, I don't, but I nod anyway. My test, inconclusive, how was this even possible.
   "I suggest you go home," she tells me, "you have a lot of thinking to do and being around the other kids may just make things worse."
   "My brother, I need to tell him where I'm going," I say unsteadily, placing my feet on the ground.
   "I'll tell him," she smiles, "you were sick after the test, you needed to go rest, ok?"
   I nod, "ok."
   She guides me out the door, "choose wisely tomorrow, follow your heart."
   The door shuts behind me and I stumble my way outside. How am I supposed to choose, the test was supposed to tell me who I am, what to choose. How was I supposed to do this. Amity, Candor, Abnegation, Erudite, Dauntless?
   Divergent.

   I walk, and walk, and walk. Amity was so far away, and to walk there, well, my brother might get home on the bus before me. I walk, my mind racing, my heart clenching.
   Divergent, all five factions, dangerous. I was dangerous, even more of an outsider than I already felt like.
   I now walk through the factionless section, the worst part of the city. They were given the worst and least rewarding jobs of the city, and were paid in food, yet most still starved. To the factions, they were the bane of society, and they stomped on them like ants. All except Abnegation. The faction had taken it upon themselves to care for the factionless, but they couldn't do everything.
   "Excuse me miss," a woman's voice asks, "do you have any food."
   My head turns to the woman, who stands just inside a crumbling building, a small baby in her arms.
   My mom had always taught me to keep something in my bag, whether for me or for anyone who needed it. Today, I had three large apples that I had picked yesterday.
   "Of course," I smile warmly at her, reaching in and grabbing the apples, which were in a small bag.
   She takes them graciously, thanking me over and over again. Her baby begins to cry in her arms, and she coos at her.
   "What's her name?" I ask, smiling down at the baby.
   "Bella-Rose," she smiles lovingly, "her name is Bella-Rose."
   I take a step towards her, "may I hold her?"
   She looks up at me, a little worry in her eyes.
   "Oh no, have I over stepped?" I take a step back, raising my hands. "My mom always says I need to be more aware of people's boundaries."
   "No no, it's ok, it just," she pauses, looking down at her baby, who still cries, "not many in the factions want to hold her. Most think she is like a disease."
   I frown, "if anyone is a disease, they are. They think themselves better just because they "belong" in a faction, they're more like herded cattle."
   The woman steps closer to me, holding Bella out to me, "words like those could get you in trouble miss."
   I gently grab the baby, she quiets as soon as she is in my arms, "I have an unnatural talent of getting into trouble, my words are the least of my issues."
   She barely weighs anything in my arms, the tiny thing staring up at me like I'm a wonder. I smile at her, and he face scrunches up in what I think is a smile back at me.
   "She likes you," the woman smiles, "she usually fusses whenever someone new holds her."
   "I suppose I have a unnatural talent for children as well," I laugh quietly.
   The woman looks at me, "the aptitude test was today, did you take yours?"
   My smile falls, "yes."
   She frowns, "that was a very unenthusiastic yes dear. What's wrong?"
   I look down at Bella, "I guess, I thought this test would tell me where I belong in this world."
   The woman nods, "yes, the test is quiet strange. It tells you were you fit in, but it doesn't tell you were you belong."
   I give her a confused glance, "doesn't it though?"
   She laughs, "no, it tells you where you fit the system, where you belong, you decide that. My test told me I fit into Dauntless, but my heart said Amity. I thought my test knew me better than I knew myself, and now I am here."
   She gestures around her, to the rubble. The factionless area was truly dreadful.
   "I'm sorry," I say.
   "Don't be," she smiles again, "I may have chosen wrong, but that choice led me here, to her."
   She takes Bella-Rose gently back into her arms, "led me to the light of my life, and the soul mate I almost didn't find."
   "Wow," I whisper.
   "Wow indeed. You choose tomorrow," she looks into my eyes, "follow your heart dear. It knows you better than any test."
   My hand involuntarily reaches up to my heart, "but how do I know."
   She places one hand over my own, "the call dear, it's there. Tomorrow, when your hand is over those bowls, you'll hear it. I choose to ignore mine, don't make the same mistake I did. And, if you don't belong in that faction, don't fret, because maybe you will find were you belong, here."
   I smile widely at her, that was probably the best advice I was ever given. A sudden idea pops into my mind, and I reach into my bag. My fingers wrap around the soft fabric, and I pull out a thick, wide, white scarf, with red roses embroidered into it. It was large enough to act as a swaddle for Bella-Rose.
   "Roses for the little Rose," I smile, holding out the scarf, "keep the little joy warm at night."
   The woman's eyes shine brightly, tears welling in them, "thank you darling girl. You are the kindest person I have ever met."
   She wraps one arm around my shoulder, careful not to crush Bella-Rose between us. I smile, it felt good to help someone.
   We part, and she wraps the scarf around Bella loosely, the girl babbles happily.
   "I need to get going," I tell her, "home is a long way."
   She nods, "yes, Amity is very far from here. Thank you so much for your kindness."
   I smile, bowing my head in a silent you're welcome. I bend down and kiss Bella-Rose's forehead, wishing her all the luck in the world, she giggles as I pull away. I turn back towards Amity, and I begin to walk.
   "Dear," the woman calls out, I turn back to her, "remember, follow your heart, you will hear the call."
   "Thank you," I suddenly realize I never got her name.
   "Seraphina," she says, as if reading my mind, "my name is Seraphina."
   "Morgana," I call back out to her.
   She smiles, "well Morgana. If you ever find yourself in need of help, you always have a friend here."
   I nod, "thank you."
   "And thank you Morgana," she smiles.
   And then I am walking home. And I'm suddenly not afraid of tomorrow.

   I was right, by the time it took me to get home, school had already let out and the bus's had just dropped off the Amity students. I find my brother and Celeste easily in the crowd. I make my way towards them and Celeste spots me.
   "Mor! Where did you go," she asks, concern lacing her tone.
   Taylor turns towards us and quickly stalks towards me. I look down, not wanting to lie to my best friend and my brother.
   "I got sick after the test, my administrator sent me home," I lie, way to convincingly for my liking, maybe Candor was wrong, "I decided to get some fresh air and walk."
   Taylor's eyes widen, "you walked all the way here!"
   "Yeah," I laugh, "I just got here."
   "You amaze me."
   "Is it really that surprising," Cel asks, "you two have always been like racing machines. Do you not remember all the times I got lost because you left me in the dust?"
   I laugh, "no I definitely do. I specifically remember you crying when we found you because you were sure you were lost forever."
   Taylor snorts loudly and Cel's cheeks turn pink, "whatever!"
   They start to bicker, laughing. I smile at the two of them, they each had a crush on the other and they were to shy to admit anything. I fall behind their strides and they move closer together to continue to jokingly argue.
   We walk Cel to her house, hugging good bye before we left. I pretend to not notice them hang onto each other for a few extra seconds. As soon as Cel's door is closed, I turn to my brother with a smirk.
   "What happened?" I ask.
   He instantly turns pink in embarrassment, "nothing! I don't know what you're talking about!"
   "Taylor," I point at him, "I know what I saw, something happened today while I was gone."
   He sighs, but the smile on his face widens, "I finally told her that I like her."
   I jump, "you did? Really!"
   He nods, shushing me, "would you keep it down! I told her when we were waiting for the bus, and she told me she felt the same way."
   I hug him, "I'm so happy for you two!"
   And then it hits me and I groan, he looks at me strangely, "what's wrong?"
   "I owe mom five bucks," I laugh.
   "You guys bet on this," he asks, shocked.
   "Yeah," I shrug, "I bet that Cel would be the first to crack. I thought you were to chicken to say anything."
   "Wow, your faith in me is staggering," he jokes, pushing me slightly.
   We walk up to our house and my nose is instantly met with smell of pie, strawberry pie. Taylor and I share a look of excitement and we push each other to get through the door.
   My mother's light laugh sounds out as we stumble through the door, "glad you're so happy to see me."
   "Right," I giggle, "definitely why we were fighting to get inside. Is that pie?"
   Taylor smacks my shoulder, "come on."
   "Hey, you were thinking the same thing," I argue.
   "Well at least I'm actually polite," he laughs.
   "Well then you won't mind if I get the first slice," I smirk deviously.
   His eyes widen, "who said that."
   "Me," I laugh.
   He shakes his head, "I get the first slice."
   "No I do," I argue, "I'm older!"
   "Oh so your playing that card now," he asks.
   While both Taylor and I were sixteen, we weren't twins. My mother got pregnant with Taylor not to long after I was born, so I was about ten months older than him.
   "Well neither of you will get a slice until you give your mom a hug," my mom cuts into our bickering.
   I laugh and walk over to her, hugging her around her shoulders, Taylor wraps his arms around the both of us. When we pull away, I see the tears that well in her eyes.
   "Mama? What's wrong?" I ask.
   She wipes her eyes, "you two are all grown up now."
   She looks between the both of us. My mother and Taylor looked exactly like each other, dirty blonde hair, deep hazel eyes, slim faces and high cheek bones. I, on the other hand, looked exactly like my dad, who had passed away when I was seven years old. I got his red hair, though his wasn't as bright as mine, he always used to say I had my grandmothers hair. He gave me his vibrant emerald green eyes, that always shone when we laughed. The only resemblance I shared with my mother and Taylor was our strong facial structures. While theirs was more crisp and define, mine was slightly softer, yet still sharp.
   "Tomorrow, I want you to pick for yourselves," she says, grabbing our hands in hers, "not for me."
   We both nod, squeezing her hands tightly. She grips back, almost as if we are her life line.
   "Whatever you pick tomorrow, I will love you to the end of time," she whispers, "and beyond. Do you understand?"
   "Yes Mama," we both say, my voice cracking.
   She laughs sadly, "ok, let's have some pie. And then I want you to go think, rest up for tomorrow."
   And we did, every second of that meal, I studied my family. The way my mother laughed, her eyes squinting and her cheeks red. The way my brother talked, endlessly, always a new story to be told. The way we smiled and loved each other. Because I knew it would be the last time I sat at this table. Because I knew I couldn't stay, because my heart told me where I belonged. Because, in the back of my mind, I heard the whistle of a train.