𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦. ☾rosé oneshots [completed]

« 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚍𝚊𝚢 »

the start and the end have already been decided and it's never the same. so many lives are lost each day, both old and young, some unborn. so i guess i'll do something many people do:
i'll just pretend you left a bit early.

don't lie, only cruel time passes
don't say it, the word bye
i'm still not ready yet
pray for your life

"where is she?" i frantically asked the one of the nurses.

"sir, who are you talking about?"

"park chaeyoung, uh- she was in a car accident. the reception called me here since i was the number on her emergency dial."

"sir... please follow me." she led me to an empty room, silent as ever. i couldn't help but fear the worst.

"ms park... her brain was barely holding on when the ambulance arrived. we tried everything but she couldn't be saved. her brain was pronounced dead at 2347, ten minutes ago." her eyes stared at me, pity clear in them. "before she did pass, she told me to tell you that she loves you with all her heart and goodbye."

"no..." this can't be happening. stumbling, i sat on the chair visibly shaking. she tried to comfort me, but i could only stare blankly until it really hit me.

she was gone.

i can't erase our conversations yet
the text that'll never be read is so lonely
i tell myself to forget but i look back again
i'll remember, our two kisses and the black and rainy day

the conversations we had were still fresh in my memories. they were too precious to try and be erased.

"oppa, what are you good at?" she furrowed her eyebrows. "singing?"

"i guess," i shrugged. i never really thought about it, to be honest. "but i'm good at loving you."

"so cheesy," she rolled her eyes playfully. "i love you though."

"i love you too," i stared at her lovingly before pulling her into my chest. "should i get you to eat some avocados?"

"no!" she whined, hitting my chest. "you're so mean!"

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"on a scale of one-to-ten, how much do you love me?" she mumbled, face hidden in my neck.

"a negative ten," i teased, feeling her face form a pout.

"then it's a negative thirty for me!" gasping, i jokingly held my heart.

"how could you?"

"how could you!" her face emerged from her curtain of hair and she started to playfully bite my shoulder.

"okay, sorry. i love you an infinity," i chuckled.

"then i love you an infinity and beyond," she softly smiled, closing her eyes. "i love you."

"i love you too, my sleepy baby."

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the last text i sent you was left unread, forever to be like that. in your letter, you told me to forget. and i really did try. but how am i supposed to forget you, the person who brought me joy? the person who loved me even when i wasn't at my best?

the last two kisses we shared will remain a treasure to me, an unforgettable memory just like you. but that rainy day, the cause of your accident, will remain a painful memory.

when dawn comes, open the door and resent me
if you become smoke and fly away in the air, i won't hold onto you

maybe i'll see you in my dreams, maybe i'll see you next to me. i don't care if you'll hate me, but i know better than to hold onto you when you're flying away from me.

the pain that remains in the cold places
i don't know how that feels like, i'm just closing my eyes and praying
your warmth still reaches my hands
i'll pray until my voice reaches that place

her hand held mine, gripping my palm tightly as she wandered the shops. it was warm and comforting, somewhat like a mother's touch. i admired the way her hair flew around in the wind, the way she walked so freely without a care in the world.

now i'm sitting at your grave, flowers placed on top of it. my tears fell like a waterfall, an endless stream. i wanted to scream, yell, shout, do anything that'll make my voice heard, but i couldn't. so i'll just whisper and pray, maybe that way you'll hear me better.

my dear, are you well?
now i'm finally asking, even though you're there
have a good day, have a good day, have a good day
i'm sure i'll see you at my end
why am i regretting now? till then
have a good day, have a good day, have a good day in heaven

i write letters to you as a way of coping with your lost. something about writing just makes me feel like you're still there, but also reminds me that you're not. a way i like to start them off is by asking 'my dear, are you well?', hoping you'd say yes.

my dear, where are you?
now i finally remember
wherever you are
have a good day, have a good day, have a good day
at the end of my life, will i be able to see you?
why am i regretting now?
i'm asking, wherever you are
have a good day, have a good day, have a good day in heaven

it's been a year now. since it's your first death anniversary, i'll ask a different question.
'my dear, where are you?'

maybe i refuse to remember that you've gone to heaven and i'll revert to asking you where are you. maybe i know that you're well, and maybe i know that you're in heaven. maybe, just maybe, i know why god took you so early.

even if you're far away, don't be lonely
i'll be by your side
look here, i'll say hello with a smile

maybe it's lonely up in heaven, maybe it's not. but whether it is or isn't, i hope you remember that i'll always been next to you. maybe if it hurts too much, i hope that you can look here and see me saying hello with that smile you love.

i know why he took you so early. it's not a maybe, it's a for sure. he took you so early not because he wanted to make me suffer, nor because he didn't feel as if you weren't meant for the world because you were.

he took you because he wanted his angels back, and you happened to be the last one.

park chaeyoung-ah, i'll love until the end of time.