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Chapter 28

5/16/14

Day 5

Dear Calum,

I always tend to think the most in the middle of the night. Other than trying to avoid my nightmares, I stay up all night because my mind is flooded with so many thoughts. I'm always thinking, whether it's about my past, my future, or if I'm just imagining things. It usually tends to be the past, and I think about many different events that happened and what could have happened if I acted a certain way that is different than when I did then. But right now is different. Right now, I'm just thinking about me.

I'm not the most amazing person, Calum. I like to keep things hidden and my secrets to myself. Even you, the person who is closest to me and knows me like the back of their hand, will never read this journal because I am keeping it from you. I don't know if you will ever find this journal and read it one day. As of right now, I don't think you ever will.

To be honest, I don't even know why you like me, even if it's just as a friend. I'm a mess, Calum. I'm a mess inside and out. I am made up of nothing but terrible flaws and habits. I don't know why you manage to put up with me.

I've also been thinking about you. Your image has been stuck in my head these past few days. You're all that I can see. Your brown eyes that brighten whenever you smile, the crinkles on your face when you laugh, your dark hair that looks so soft, your tan skin that would greatly contrast with my skin tone—not that I mind; I think the contrast is very nice—, and just you in general. All I can think about is you, and my thoughts have led me to realize something.

Calum Thomas Hood, I am in love with you.

I'm not exactly familiar with the feeling or emotion that is love. In fact, it's very unfamiliar to me. I have never experienced it at any moment with my life—not even with Rylee, who I forced myself to believe I had a crush on. I have no right whatsoever to say that I am an expert of love. I have never had it, never felt it, and I can't even describe it. But, despite all of this, I am SEVEN THOUSAND PERCENT SURE that love is what I have for you, and that I am utterly and helplessly in love with you.

Holy shit. I just turned into Augustus Waters.

I never knew what I wanted to do in my life. I had always convinced myself that I would go to school, graduate, and pursue a career in the arts—well, that, or annihilate myself completely, but let's not get into that—, but I'm not even sure if that's what I want to do anymore. My entire future has been changed in front of me. The only thing that I want to do with my life is hopefully graduate high school, pack my bags, buy a plane ticket, and fly to Australia.

The only thing stopping me is the possibility that you don't feel the same way that I do about you.

Forever Yours,

Luke

 

✘✘✘

 

"You brought silly string?" Beau scoffed.

Michael giggled. "Of course I did! That way, it's a party wherever I go!" Michael grabbed his backpack, and by the sound of rattling, you could tell that is was filled with cans of silly string.

"Why the fuck would you bring silly string?" Beau scoffed again. "It's pointless."

"Pointless?!" Ashton exclaimed loudly. "That silly string is our holy grail in this Prank War!" He grabbed a can of silly string from Michael's backpack, and he kissed it.