Shattered Dreams and Stupid Things

•One

Growing up, I was always the oddest one in the family. I never socialized with anyone. Because life is shitty, unfair and overrated. I guess there was something about life that I always hated. And I could probably think of a couple reasons. But one particular reason was the fact that if you had a brother like mine, maybe you'd understand how hard it is.

But my life didn't always sucked. There were two miracles in my life,  first was my father that had my back always and second,  Sarah Borne.

She was the light in the darkest of tunnels. She helped me made every crappy and horrible things okay. That's why I loved her so much.

“Loved”. And that's what we're going to talk about now.

But first, let's cover the sweet stuff before I drop the bomb on you.

Sarah Borne lived five blocks away from us. She was the daughter of a good family. She was raised well,  a life full of smiles, kisses, and all the horse crap that people believed about her family.

But I knew my bestfriend and she was far from the person people thought she was. Inside, she was hurt, crying and longing for a real good family.

I met her when I was eight.  It was certainly a memorable day. I loved replaying the memory of it inside my mind,  but lately. It just feels like acid was going down my throat. It was the first day of third grade.

And life still sucked, so much.

The only good thing that was happening is that my father was their with his bright and charming smile.

We pulled up on the school's parking lot. I could hear the joyous cheers of my fellow kids being reunited with their friends. I hated it. I hate how they laughed and how rowdy they were.  And perhaps the most annoying thing of all was Aaron being Aaron.

Aaron my brother,  was the family's star. Even though my mom would like to hide it,  even my dad,  they were always more proud of him more than me. He was the brightest kid in the block and the neighborhood loved him for his smarts, looks and personality.

A part of me felt proud that he was getting all this attention. That people liked him for who he was.  But having him as a brother put a lot of pressure on my shoulders.  And no matter how hard I tried,  couldn't catch up to him. Because I was too afraid to fail and let people down.

At that time Aaron had that weird and awkward haircut that he got from my bad. But even with a bad hair day,  he was unstoppable. Sitting there,  playing with his Game Boy Advance.  While I sat beside him,  sulking like a attention seeking puppy. With my arms crossed over my chest, my lips pouted and eyes staring into the thick crowds of kids.

“Aaron honey,  you gotta go.” My mother says,  turning her head and gave my brother the warmest smile she could muster.  My mother was gorgeous at that time. The dress she wore neatly clung onto her aging yet masterfully sexy body. I wonder at that time,  if she could ever muster a smile like that for me.

“Oh right Mom,  love you. I love you too Dad!” Aaron says as he hopped out of the car. As soon as he got off, he was surrounded by his circle of friends.

I frowned, remembering how jealous I was. No,  I was bitter.

“Hey Hayden. Time to go missy.” My mother spoke, making me turn my head towards her. She was touching up her lips.

‘How am I not surprised?’ I said to myself.

But I was still anxious. I wasn't ready to go to school yet. Maybe another century would be fine.