Pretend

Chapter 26 - The story of the past

"I needed to talk to you, to explain. I've done this so many times in my head but I just can't seem to find the right words to say," he said as he shifted his eyes from the floor, to my face and back again.

"How about you start with I'm sorry for being the kind of father that left you at the age of seven and didn't turn up until nine years later. Why don’t you try that?" I said in an angry tone.

"You hate me, don't you?" He asked in a solemn voice.

I didn't even give an answer to his pathetic question. 

This was the man who ruined my life the day that he left. He made me compare every guy that ever hurt or left me to him and now he's back to do what exactly?

Was he looking for sympathy?

If he was then he had come to the wrong place because all my sympathy for him had died years ago. Looking at him just reminded me of all those timed that I forced Aiden and Crystal to wait by my bedroom window, hoping that one day I would see him walk down that path again and tell me that everything would be just fine. All I could see when I looked into his eyes was me, seven years old and crying myself to sleep because I had no daddy to tuck me in at night. 

"I just want the chance to explain," he said, gently.

"Explain what exactly? Look, I thought doing this was a good idea but now, I just want you to leave me alone," I said as I walked away from him, trying to battle with the tears that were trying to force themselves out of my eyes. 

No way would I cry another tear for him, I promised myself that a long time ago.

"April, please just hear me out and then if you still want me to leave you alone after that, then fair enough," he said as his eyes pleaded with me.

I took a deep breath and then nodded my head.

We walked in silence as he led the way to his car. It was beautiful. I had no idea what type of car it was, it looked foreign. He obviously hadn't struggled that much in our years apart.

"Here," he said as he held open the passenger seat door for me.

I almost said thank you but he didn't deserve my gratitude. 

To tell the truth I was mostly angry with myself because even though I really didn't know anything about this man, even though he left me alone for years without so much as a birthday card, a small part of me still loved him. A small part of me longed for him to hold me in his arms, kiss me on the forehead and tell me that everything was ok because daddy was here. Silly, I know.

"You've grown into a beautiful young lady," he said after we had sat in silence for at least three minutes.

I gently raised my eyebrows and then turned my head so that I was looking out of the window at the mall.

"April, I know that you hate me-"

"I don't hate you," I said as I turned to face him and watched the shocked look on his face.

"I just want some answers, the truth".

"Ok, I will tell you everything," he said as he turned his head and looked out of the window. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact with me. He looked nervous.

"I come from a very well off family, they own a lot of land, businesses and properties," he said gently.

Yeah this is making me feel way better...Not!

"I'm not saying this to boast".

Oh you must have read my mind.

"My parents wanted a certain lifestyle for me when I was younger. They wanted me to have a good education, be trained in many skills, know which fork to use when I dined at fancy restaurants and most of all they wanted me to settle down and find a wife," he said sadly.