How I Met Your Mother // c.h

Suit Up

“Nicole?” That’s right, your Aunt Nicole had redelivered your drunken Uncle back home after we didn’t see him for four days. He was passed out cold and it was clear he wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. Your aunt didn’t say anything, she just handed Luke over to Ashton and then left.

“HEY.”

“What do you want Calum?”

“An explanation. Why do you keep running away?”

“What else am I supposed to do? Stay and watch the guy I love break in front of me?” 
“He needs you.”

“No he doesn’t. Not anymore. It’s better if I just leave.” And so she did and for real this time. She never ever came back and that is why your Uncle Luke was such a womanizer.

~Present time~

“DAD!” It’s important.

“No it’s not dad! We did not need to know that! What does that have to do with mum?” It does.

“In what way?” You guys are impatient.

“Just please…..carry on.” Thank you.

~Back to the story~

I was right, the morning when your uncle Luke woke up, he didn’t remember a single thing. All he knew was loving tuxedos and having an addiction to ‘lady shopping’ which roughly translates to a bunch of useless one night stands with woman he’ll never ever meet again.

“GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING.”And he was always so happy after that. “

C’mon CalPal, get suited up. We’re going to go down to the bar, pick up as many chicks as we can and then this night shall be legend….wait for it….”

Kids, if you ever hear this your Uncle Luke has never failed to remind me that I would always have to remind you that he was the one that came up with this, when I am sure that he wasn’t. But anyways, your Uncle Luke had this weird thing he would always do whenever something was going to be legendary. And till this day, we still don’t know why he does this.

“I don’t know exactly what I’m waiting for. Why can’t you jus—.”

“DARY.”

“Legendary? Why didn’t you jus—.”

“No, no, no, no. You have to say it like this. C’mon Cal, we’ve been through this…” No we haven’t. “I’ve told you many times before.”No he hasn’t.

“I thought you already knew this.”I didn’t.

“It’s Legend…..wait for it….DARY. You’ve got to say…you know what never mind. Put this on…”He randomly—out of no where—threw a tuxedo at me.

“Where did you even get this?”

“I don’t know….put it on.”

“Luke I am not suiting up right now!”

“Okay…..”Then there was a long pause. And I’m not kidding when I said it was long. Luke just left the room and we carried on with the day normally….until I was making myself a cup of coffee and your uncle Luke decided to randomly barge in.

“SUIT UP.”

“GOD.”

“Are you ready now?”

“NO.”And then another unbelievably long pause. This time it was two days later. I was in the bathroom and the door bursts open.

“SUIT UP.”

“DAMN IT LUCAS.”

“C’mon CalPal.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Why not?”

“Because….just don’t.”

“C’mon, you call me Dr. Fluke.”I have never called him that.

“No…..I don’t.”

“Well too bad. I’m Dr. Fluke, you’re CalPal, Michael is Mike-Ro-Wave and Ashton is SmAsh.”

“What?” I was thoroughly confused. “What’s up with these strange names?”

“They’re not strange. They’re awesome! Now stop being sad and SUIT UP.”

“I’m not sad.”

“Want to know what I do when I’m sad? When I’m sad I stop being sad….and…be awesome instead. So if you want to be awesome SUIT UP and meet me in the bar in 5. SUIT UP.”Then he left.

I did go to the bar, but I didn’t turn up in a suit—much to Luke’s disappointment. Ashton, Michael and Luke were all sat in our usual place. And I sat down and grabbed a nacho chip from the bowl and looked at your uncle Luke, who seemed like he was in some other world.

“What’s up with him?”I probably shouldn’t have asked.

“Blonde….double d’s, long legs daisy dukes, I have my night sorted ooouuuuttt. You’re missing out Cal. You should’ve….SUITED UP.”To be honest I liked old Luke better. The old Luke when Nicole was around, but as I said…..she is never coming back.

 Well….at least that’s what we all thought.