Maybe (TRIGGER WARNING)

Middle School, 6th Grade.

6th grade was pretty hard on me. A new type of school, more responsibilities, trying to find my classes. All difficult.

But it kept on getting worse from there. I became...

Popular.

A preppy bitch.

I hung out with this girl, Alexis. We were like the best of friends. So many sleepovers that ended with things we'd never talk about again. 

One sleepover, we were playing a game, in which we'd have to kiss each other to guess the flavor of chapstick we were wearing. I kissed her first. A little peck on the lips, because even though I was single, I didn't know how to be ready for a real relationship, and I didn't know if she liked me or not. And to me, it was kind of an experiment to discover my sexuality. 

I pulled back from the kiss and before I knew it, she had kissed me harshly. 

I didn't know what to do, so I kissed back. Then pulled away. 

"I want you." She continued on, saying how she's loved me and to prove it, she'd claim me by having sex with me. She would pull my clothes off and her own until we were in underwear and bras. 

I was frightened. But we'd kiss and kiss and she asked to go farther and I go up from her bed and put my clothes back on.

"What's wrong?" 

"I'm not ready," I'd say, but that was only part of it. 

She put her shirt back on and got up. She got closer to me, trying to touch me and I told her that I needed to take a walk.

So I did. 

Halfway home, then I called my mom. 

The next day at school, she acted as if nothing and so did I.

I then became to feel the need for sexual attention than I did before, but did nothing about it. I dated this boy, Caleb. And I still love him to this day, but we're just friends now.

Anyways, after the incident with Alexis, I decided to try and hang out with some people who I normally didn't hang out with, and it proved pretty okay. Until the summer crept up.