Not so good:bughead

7

Betty's POV: 

"Betty are you sure you do not want to come? You can always come with us," Veronika told me. She and Archie would go to Pop on Pop, but I do not want to be the third wheel anymore. And I have noticed that Archie does not want me there. I have noticed that he has given me a deadlock more than once.
"Yes, I'm sure. I've got a piece of art to work on." You said, "I said with a fake smile. I do not want to guard the third wheel but I hate loneliness.
"Okay, you know where I am if you need me. Have fun when you fall asleep over a book" then she laughed. I no longer know where I have her. She's my best friend, but she's cheating on me. I usually laugh at it when she and Archie did so, but in earnest their words hurt me.

I sat at the desk and hit the laptop when. I opened up the document with the article on. The document was empty. I have not written one word. I do not know why but I can not move on with it. Everything just spins in my head. My life is a mess. My parents have to divorce, every day when I get home they are crushing each other. They do them all night and then in the morning they are piled as nothing has happened. And then it begins. I take pills to keep myself up. And I can never get a snack anymore. I have begun drinking to get rid of my pain. I string a bottle of wine or whiskey every now and then and sneak them up in my room. I drink to dampen everything. To be numb.
I'm constantly lonely. Even when there are people around me. Everyone cares only about themselves. Veronika is my friend but she is too busy to care about someone else. 

Maybe this is how I will end up alone. Abandoned.
I wish that I could be like Veronika. She is confident and pretty. She has the right clothes and all boys attention. I am lonely, useless and forgotten. I just want to disappear for a while. If only for a moment. I pick up my bag and pull up a whiskey bottle. My problem is solved for the sake. I pull off the cork and drink a bite straight from the bottle. It tastes well-liked and I welcome the burning in the halo. It's burning in my mouth and I like it. It's painful and I like it. I pull my ponytail out so my hair is loose. I'm pulling my blonde curls. My hair is longer, I notice when I see my mirror image in the laptops running screen. Mom would say i should cut me if she now cared. Ever since my mom and dad started to bother, they do not see me. They do not care. I take a bite out of the bottle. It burns wonderfully again. Imagine if I became another person. Imagine if I would change. I want to be any other sauce then I can be. I've done everything for everyone. Have them check me. Make me a person who I was not, someone I do not want to be. So when should I be myself? It may be time to become myself. Someone I want to be. But can I have this? Can I be someone else? Can I stay again? I'll be at last. It's going to end the little miss perfect. It will be my turn now. I take a bite off the bottle. The fire comes back and wakes me alive. I'm pulling my pink shirt off. I hold it in hand it is pink with a white collar with small sequins on. This sweater belongs to Betty Copper. She was a girl who was perfect for everyone, she was the girl next door who had everything. Everything but happiness, self-confidence, self-will and boys' attraction. But it's over. That time is over. Looking down on myself. I have a black tank top that I had under the shirt. It went well far down and showed a lot of my breasts. To the greatest of my surprise, I always always wear pretty underwear. Not because anyone would see them but because they make me feel good. I have a red push-up bra under the tank top. The tire lays against my skin. And the linen goes so far down that the beginning of the coupons is visible. My jeans were pretty tight and showed my curves without the big shirt. I'm probably looking good. I hope so anyway. I took a bite to the wiskey bottle. But I do not know the same burn. I'm getting a whim but it will not be the same burn I want. Same burn I need. I drink until everything is black.