Memories Mistaken

chapter eleven

Alissa's POV

Sobs start to cascade down my face as I hug Role tighter because I was unable to figure out the reaction that haunted me when Rose wasn't letting me approach him.

The feeling is closer to being grvely demented thinking that something might have happened to Role as doubt filled me when the guards circled around the garden area where me, the kids and their grand mother were playing.

Linda, my supposedly mother in law eyed them curiously and they sought certain attention from their audience. 

Us.

While trying to articulate a not so definite meaning to such vigilance, I wasn't able to shun off the feeling of an anamoly, or any kind of disorientation around me.

I was trying to get the kids inside but they were stubborn. It took me quite sometime to please the those little angels with a promise to enjoy another tea party.

Though, Rain was reluctant about it so I pursued her with a promise for an outdoor game of her choice later on.

For the first time after coming to this house, epiphany of being an active mother with ready to face any battle attitude donned on me.

And as now I am recuperating from a faulty conjecture, Role hugs me equally tight and plays the perfect husband that he claims to be.

"baby, hey, please don't cry. I was trying to give you a perfect surprise,  please baby, I am sorry, let me make it up to you."

He keeps winging me his dignified promises and I eventually quit weeping like a two year old.

I am a god damn adult, I need to behave like it, my brain scolds me as we move part, sighting the cake beside him.

"where did you get it, Role? It looks amazing," I comment while he swabs my salty tear load off my cheeks as past him my children are watching me with an almost somber look.

Oh my god, what kind of impression have I made on them as a mother now?

I am a terrible mother, no doubt my dreams and intuitions were guiding me to the right path that I am not the woman they think of me as.

My heart cracks a little if it is even possible thinking the possibility of that outcome, while Role's sensuous and directive voice catches my attention again.

The whole scenario isn't less than a deluge of severe emotions where I am unable to decide which one to give the priority and which one to neglect or keep the lid on for.

"I made it, wifey, only for you."

My mouth turns watery and shocks at the same time. I didn't even label him as a someone who presumably runs empires being so comfortable in doing a mundane deed for his wife, me, if the facts aren't wrong.

"C'mon, have a big tasty chunk of it."

He guides me as he brings the plate in front of me to have the delicious bite of the red velvet cake. It has a big white creamy heart on it, unsteady but really loveable.

"Can I?"

I ask to confirm because the delicacy seems too surreal and too pure to be tempered with. The real Alissa belongs here to be loved by this family, not me.

I am a deceiver who has started to like the act. The thin lines are blending between what is real and what isn't.

Then these kids jump like little toads and run towards my feet, pleading me with a soft cry to taste what their daddy baked for me and Autumn silently adds a request forbidding me the luxury to cry.

She says it like a soldier that she will see to the punishments her daddy will bear if she sees me crying again.

It makes every room present in the room chuckle loud and Role is beguiled to pick the punisher in his strong arms and be at her mercy while I crouch down to Rain's level and we both pick our bites to taste the home made cake together.

"Mmmmm... Oh my god. This is so...,"

"Yummmmy Daddy!! You're the best!! Isn't it right,  Mommy?"

Rain breaks through my trance as I am still reliving through the sumptuous taste. It swells my chest with warmth and compassion in the moment. All I feel afterwards is with how much precision and thoughtfulness the cake was prepared it soothed my taste buds so right. The cake melts and fills my mouth in right proportions.

Even though I don't remember my past life, I am sure that I couldn't have tasted such heaven ever before. I want to cry again but when I look up, Autumn is eyeing me like a spy and has her tiny little hand ready to swat her daddy's shoulder.

This makes me steel my weakness immediately and I agree with Rain while picking her up in my arms.

"your daddy makes the best cake in the world, Rain. The cake is definitely the best I ever tasted. Now, how about we let your sister, daddy and others taste it too? Want to help me out with me?"

"mommy, one more thing is left to taste, the chips!! I don't want cake daddy. I want to taste chips and let mommy eat them too!! "

Autumn demands and Role chuckles while Linda now sits on the table across us. As I lay Rain down on the seat next to me, she passes the cake to her grandmother while Role hands me and Autumn the potato chips plate.

We eat them together lost in the tangy taste that I don't realize Role sneaks behind me until he whispers and my toes curl in my flip flops feeling his breathing closing in on my nape.

"Alli, honey, if you continue to moan like that with each bite, I am not sure how am I going to control myself."

My ears are shocked and hot to have heard that and when I zap a widened stare at him, he laughs and blows me a kiss as he trudges over the table to sit beside his mother.

Whereas Autumn and I keep munching on the chips, the hair on my body tingles because I know someone across the table is watching me instantly with headed and voyeur looks that don't feel wrong, rather quite opposite, welcoming even.

What is happening to me?

I am enjoying the way a stranger is eyeing me. How long playing home with these people will go on?

A siren of sorts floods right through my resistence to acknowledge the veracity of the warnings.

Even a fool and naive can tell that I am calling wreak havoc at my door as with the end of the whole ruse of a perfect wife, mother and a daughter in law, I will completely be obliterated with no one but myself to be blamed.

Sigh. The enjoyment of the surpise can't be enamoured anymore. I am a ticking bomb, an impending lie waiting to float to the rim.

And as my mood starts to dwindle, I hear a nasty loud noise that orders me to snap my head back to reality.

Role is no where to be seen.

Linda looks at me with a little mix of worry and fear.

Why is she scared of me?

Why does Role keep disappearing?