Deviant Behavior (Connor x Reader)

Conditioned Hunger

November 9th, 2038
PM 08:50:57

No amount of hot water could purge the filth lingering on your skin, but you were trying.

You leaned against the inner wall of the shower, arms wrapped around your stomach to null the pinch of pain that made it hard to stand. The feeling that if you moved just the right way, your insides would fall out and you'd be nothing but a gory mess.

A gory mess...

That was a fitting description for how you were feeling.

But even after you quietly excused yourself, and limped to the bathroom; using the walls to guide you through a maze of dull senses and train wreck of thoughts –

There wasn't necessarily a word for it.

Embarrassed? Ashamed? Relieved?

Nothing really fit, and the quiet time you'd need to arrive at a conclusion was interrupted by a knock on the door.

You turned your head, the water pushing Thirium in your eye and making you hiss before rubbing it out.

"Come in..." You groaned, not so much at the unexpected company but because if you never saw Thirium again, it would be too soon.

You shivered at the wintry draft that traded with the steam caught in the bathroom, hugging yourself and blinking.

But the door closed, and a figure shifted on the other side of the curtain. Silent, and tense – yet still so...comforting. Still able to raise a smile on your face, no matter how hesitant.

You peaked out to find his body facing you, but his head trapped at an angle by his reflection.

His features contorted and smoothed, twisted and flattened – one expression overriding another in the smallest of twitches and curves.

"Connor?"

He jumped, mouth hanging ajar before it snapped shut, and a flash of fear lingered in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He was covered in blue blood, his clothes still stained – more so now, and his poor attempt to redress himself had his buttons misaligned, his jacket crooked, and his jeans unfastened.

You weren't even sure why he bothered, really.

"Do you mind if I..." He looked at himself before refocusing, "Do you mind if I join you?"

Your neck snaked back, "Uh...Yes, yeah – of course."

You were screaming in your head, nervous of what he'd do. You weren't in a position to engage in more physical activities. Hell, with your new work schedule – getting enough sleep was going to be a whole new problem.

"Are you sure?" His jaw was tense in a hard line, sadness on his face like he'd been waiting for rejection and couldn't believe he didn't get it.

So you gave him a smile, a real smile, and that line on his lips turned crooked in return. You didn't have to say anything. Just pointed a nod towards the steaming jet of water, and closed the curtain.

You were rinsing your face off; eyes closed as your hands scrubbed at your temples when the rings slid across the bar. You shook the loose water off and wiped the rest away. Started to look behind you before two strong arms pulled you in, hugging you against an equally strong torso.

"Ugh, Connor!" You laughed as you struggled to get away, "I just washed myself-"

And now, your back was covered in Thirium.