Girl awake

enlighten

HADLEY

There is a small market near my house . It isn’t much popular but there are some good gift shops and shoe stores which really get filled during festivals because people don’t like to go to far away places . father used to take me there a lot after he finished grading his paper at night . He is an English professor at the nearby college .

He thought I will love shopping cause people always say to him that I’m like my mother and my mother loves shopping . But he realised very soon that I’m different because I never wanted to go there and just wanted to read his books . He was really happy about this because my mother never liked reading anything but still he used to take me to the market sometimes . There was a store in the market named the walker ; it was a medium sized store with glass panes covering it from all sides , it was actually a shoe store and had all kinds of shoes . Most of the shoes in my house are from this place .

On one side of the store they had non heal sandles for girls and boys displayed in a diagonal way and on the other side they had work shoes and high boots for women scrunched up against each other .

Father used to hold up different pairs of simple shoes to me and ask if I wanted them and i always said no . I never liked new shoes , never liked seeing their perfect soles and nicely braided shoe laces .

Once when I denied a pair of shoes , the shopkeeper asked me why I don’t like shoes and I said new shoes are like blank canvas , they don’t tell you anything about the person and where all places they go to .the shopkeeper blankly looked at me for a second and then at my father and said "now I’m wondering how my business is even running ? I’m never gonna pay for a blank canvas " , both of them laughed aloud after this but I just stood there cause for me , what the shopkeeper said was a fact .

People don’t pay for blankness, they pay for complexity.

We stopped going to that place as I became older and our visits to the market became less frequent . But I still remember the day about a year ago when father called me down and said that he needed new work shoes so he wanted me to come with him to the market.

I thought of saying no to him first , saying that I’m doing homework but then I realised that I’m sitting alone in my room with all the lights off and eating Ritz crackers . I just said okay and he left the room and went downstairs again .

The walk to the market was usual for us , I told him about the books that I read and if he had something to say then he would speak otherwise he just nodded and encouraged me to speak.

"Your father is like Every other father Hadley " , my mother said this to me when once I asked her if dad thought I didn’t love him anymore .

I was thirteen that time . Mother looked strangely at me for a moment before asking me why I think that and I said that he doesn’t talk to me anymore . I heard her laugh at my reasoning and then she said that to me . She made me sit down and explained to me my how father is like an avocado , very hard outside but soft and mushy on the inside . She also told me that my grandfather didn’t even talk to her after she was 15 . She said it’s like a thing with fathers, they don’t say anything.

Now that i think her words , i realise what she wanted to say. But then I also think that father did say a lot, he made me feel all the things that he felt by giving me his books to read. He has a quote up in his study that says ’someone’s reading list can answer all your questions about them ’. I finally understood the meaning of this phrase in our walk to the stare , he wanted me to understand him in a way only a reader can .

I was sitting at the corner of the room while he tried different pair of shoes from black to dark brown. My mind was thinking about the Ritz crackers that I left open in my room when I saw them .

On the left side of the store, below the men’s work shoe collection was a new section introduced . There were converse of different styles and heights kept there and one of them made me happy. They were red high converse with a north star made on their left side . I remember staring at them till dad didn’t come and tell me his work is done and we can leave . I just stood there for a moment and then opened my mouth and that I want those shoes .

Dad looked at the pair and I was pointing to and asked the shopkeeper to get my size . When they arrived he asked me if I like them up close and I told him I do . He paid for both the shoes and then we left the store .

On our way back to house, I held my shoes and he held his . Mother was pretty shocked when she saw me holding the shoes.

"What is special about these ? " , she asked me throwing the box away and making some space in the shoe rack .

"I just think I’ll like making memories with these "

It’s been about a year since the day i bought them and it’s been the same amount since I’ve been wearing them .

They have walked through the dusty road to the wet earth of the after rain . Sometimes I just look at the soles and try to Remember Everything . The places that I’ve been to and the things that my eyes have seen .

But today , sitting in the backseat of mother’s car, all I can think about is how to burn these shoes .

Hii friends! I hope you all are enjoying the book so far and if you think that the story is moving too slow then I’m sorry for that but that’s just how I want it to go . It’s a thriller so I believe a little detailing will be great for it and everyone will understand all the stuff better when the ending comes . I’m always open to suggestions so feel free to give them .

Love ,

Monxxxxx