Green and blue hydrangeas

CHAPTER 3

Benjamin's mind was working in high gear attempting to process what happened. He went through the night over and over again. His mind kept catching on how Alto's lips felt, how he tasted of his cooking and mint, the jolt of joy he got when Alto wrapped his arms around him, how everything was just right. It took Ben a full 5 minutes to pull himself together. His mind finally began clearing itself from the kiss, reverting to other things about Clef. Things like how funny he was, how much Ben thought of him in his free time, how he just seemed to pull Ben in by the sheer force of his amazing character. He couldn't stop himself now. Ben was falling down the rabbit hole of overthinking shit. He thought over every joke they shared, every time they hung out, every moment they saved each other's asses. He thought of how happy Alto made him.

It took 2 minutes of this for him to realize 'I'm in love with Alto'.

'No, no, absolutely not. I am not, nor will ever be in love with him.' Ben repeated in his head over and over again.

Clef was his friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. He was not going to ruin their relationship over some stupid kiss. He rose from the couch and went off to bed with those thoughts planted firmly in his mind. For the next 3 days he didn't see Clef. His life proceeded as normal. He even almost forgot about the kiss. On Tuesday, he developed a cough. It wasn't anything to fret over, he was prone to lung infections and coughs, so no big deal just get some antibiotics and carry on with life. The next day, while sitting on his bed after work, a fit came over him. He heaved and wheezed and felt as if something was jammed in his chest. After about a minute or so of punching his sternum, he finally dislodged the offending object and spit it out. In his hand sat a wet and bloodied flower petal. It was small and oddly colored. It was near neon blue at the wider end and shifting into bright green as it got to the tip. The very end of the tip was bright red. Ben felt his chest tighten, not with another fit but with fear. Without a doubt he had Hanahaki disease. His mind ran through the symptoms and how it would progress. First, someone would begin having coughing fits reminiscent of a cold. Soon after, they would begin coughing up flower petals. The more time wore on the more petals would come up, followed by leaves and roots. Eventually whomever was afflicted would die from blood loss, suffocation on the flowers, or inability to breath because their lungs were so destroyed. Hanahaki was caused by unrequited love. The only way to cure it was to either have your love reciprocated or have the flowers removed. But that permanently removed any care you had for that person or removed your ability to love at all. Ben's hands began to shake, he remembered his first exposure to the disease. It was through a close family friend who got it after she fell in love with a man who already found his soulmate. He was around 12 when it all happened. She was 19. She had her whole life ahead of her but it was snatched away by some asshole who wouldn't admit his love for her because of his soulmate. Correction: he couldn't admit his love. Where she lived, once you married your soulmate, you couldn't divorce or break the relationship lest you want to be jailed. Only two years after his friend's death, the law got removed. Ben had been there for his friend until her death, quite literally. He remembered almost every detail of the last hour or so of her life. As his memories resurfaced, Ben began to cry.

"Nie. Nie. Nie... dlaczego ja?"* Ben choked out. He felt like he was going to vomit.

'What the hell could've caused this?'

'It was Clef, he was the one who kissed you and brought in all this lovey dovey shit.' His instincts replied.

Ben took a deep breath. 'alright,' He thought. 'now how do I fix this with as few people as possible knowing?'

Of all people certainly Alto couldn't know. 'how the hell would he react to the idea of me falling in love with him?'

Ben sighed, it was going to be hard but not impossible to keep his secret. Now that he thought about it none of his friends could know. Not Gears, definitely not Ice or Jack (they'd tell everyone), nor Zyn. If this got out, he'd be in deep shit.

'Yeah, just gotta keep this under wraps and I'll be fine.' He told himself. 'Now what kind of flower am I stuck with?'

Ben knew that such information would help him stray off the parasitic flowers. He picked up the vivid petal he dropped. It was very small and a wide spoon shape with a slightly pointy tip. Not much to gather from there. The unnatural coloring didn't help much. He scanned through his brain, trying to remember if Alto had ever mentioned his favorite flower. Another heaving fit came, as if to help him on his search. He coughed up a fair amount of the flower now, small with the wide petals. Ben's best guess was that a Hydrangea had rooted itself in his lungs and was now blossoming between his ribs. Ben groaned. He was too tired for this, too worn from work. Clef hadn't been on site in days to ease his mood. Again, a fit came upon him.

'God, am I always gonna hack up a lung when I think of Clef from now on?'

Ben, exhausted from the day, laid down and fell asleep. For the next three weeks he did not see Alto. He was constantly paranoid of someone discovering his secret. After a while, he was able to relax. Up until Clef came back from his mission.

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* "No. No. No... why me?"