Just Keep Walking

Eighty two

As they walked to the centre of Alexandria, Mary walked directly behind Rick, her chest squeezing every time she saw his face. She just wanted to go back in time, back to before she thought he was a bad person. All Rick wanted to do was hold her, was to never let go of her.
Suddenly, Mary spoke up. "Negan. Please can I hold daddy's hand?" She whimpered, and Negan sighed.
"Rick. Are you cooperating today? Are you going to start some shit? Or are you going to do as I say?"
"I'll do anything you say. Anything. Anything. Please." Rick begged softly.
"Yes. Yes, you may hold his hand, Mary." Negan nodded, and Mary ran forwards a little, clinging to his hand. She brought it to her face and cried a little, and Rick decided he didn't care what Negan did; he picked her up and held her close. Thankfully, Negan didn't say anything.
"I'm scared." Mary breathed into his ear, and Rick kissed her cheek firmly.
"I love you." He answered, and Mary nestled into his neck.
"I'm scared." She repeated, a tear rolling down her cheek. She didn't say what of. But it was Rick, that scared her. He was a bad man. He was a monster. He killed Glenn.
But she couldn't leave him.
"Where's Mishy? And Carly?" Mary mumbled.
"Mishy's gone out, and Carl's just in the house. He misses you too much, baby. He's... He's super sad. He really misses you."
"I miss him the most. Him and Glenn." Mary mumbled sadly, and Negan's own chest twisted at that sentence. Even Rick couldn't help but feel slightly jealous; she missed someone else more then him.
"I'm so sorry."
"I just want Glenn." Mary cried, and Rick sighed shakily, then stopped, seeing men pulling furniture out of houses.
"That's... You're just taking that?" Ruck whispered shakily, as an armchair was pulled out of a house.
"We are. You see this? This is the kind of thing that just tickles my balls! A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as punch. You see, we really are reasonable people once you get to know us. Honest. Mary knows that," Negan smiled, opening a cooler and snapping a can of beer open, "because Mary fucking loves us. She loves her new home. She has a massive bedroom, and a double bed, and so many toys. She's going to have a good life. Damn, I love this place!"
Rick's jaw tensed at that; he couldn't let Mary stay there forever, even if her life was good. He needed her back, even if she didn't need him.
"Negan. Something you might wanna see." A man called, walking over and passing Rick a video recorder.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here? I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky-deaky." Negan chuckled, switching the camera on. As soon as it did, Rick's voice came out of the camera.
"Know me. I've killed people. I don't even know how many by now." The voice rasped, and Mary froze. Her father, the killer. Her father, the monster. Her father, the man who killed Glenn.
She wriggled out of his arms.
"Jesus!" Negan chuckled, and Mary's hand cling onto the material of his jacket.
"But I know why they're all dead." The voice mumbled.
"Is that you, Rick, underneath all that man-bush?" Negan chuckled in shock.
"They're dead so my family, so all those people out there, can be alive." Rick's voice explained, and Mary recognised that phrase. That lie. That excuse. It was what he always said.
"Shit! I would not have messed with that guy!" Negan laughed, turning the video on and recording Rick, "But that's not you anymore, is it? Nope! I really gotta shave this shit," Negan sighed, rubbing his beard, then he turned to Rick in interest, "whatever happened to the sick girl? That seemed like a hell of a stressful night for her. The way she was carrying on, she was married to number two, right? See, I think... She's your girl's real mother. That's her mom. Glenn. That was her stepfather."
"No. Her... They were like her parents. Her aunt and uncle." Rick answered honestly, looking at the floor.
"The sick girl?" Negan pressed, and the sadness in Rick's eyes was replaced with pure anger, so pure that it scared Mary. "Careful. Careful how you're lookin at me, Rick. Widows, especially ones that look like that, they are special. I love 'em. Right after their husbands go, they are just empty inside. But usually not for long! Ahh. Where is she? I would love to see her." Negan laughed.
"Do you care to pay your respects?" Gabriel asked suddenly, appearing from behind Negan.
"Holy crap! You are creepy as shit, sneaking up on me, wearin' that collar with that freaky ass smile."
"My apologies. I'm Father Gabriel."
"She didn't make it?" Negan half laughed, and Mary froze.
"Daddy? Daddy?" Mary whimpered. And Rick looked down, shaking his head. "Maggie's dead? My Maggie. My Maggie. Maggie." Mary sobbed, falling to the ground.
Rick went to soothe her, but Negan put his arm out. "She's fine," he hissed, "leave her."
"No."
"Leave her!" Negan shouted angrily.
"Stop!" Mary screamed, crying hysterically. She carried on, until Aaron ran over, scooping her up and holding her close.
"It's okay. It's okay." He whispered, and Mary clung to him. Aaron didn't kill people. Aaron was a good person.
"Put the child down." Negan growled.
"She's upset. And look, she's cut herself. Can I take her to the infirmary? To fix it up?" Aaron asked nervously. Mary was confused - her only cut was a graze from earlier on in the day.
"Go." Negan sighed, and Aaron walked away with Mary, giving a nod to Rick. They didn't, however, go into the infirmary; they went outside it, sat on the front step.
"It's okay. It's okay. She's not really dead," Aaron soothed, "we just want Negan to think that, so he doesn't hurt her. Okay?"
Mary took a shaky breath in, and her tears stopped. "Not dead?"
"Not dead." Aaron nodded, and she calmed down almost instantly.
"Okay. Okay. Okay." Mary sniffled.
"Okay. Are you okay? Is Negan looking after you? No one's hurt you, have they? Have you been eating?"
"I don't like the food. And I got hitted a lot one time, but Negan made sure I didn't again."
"Are you sure? Come on sweetie, you can tell me anything, you know that."
"My daddy's a bad man." Mary cried softly, hiding her face into his shoulder. Aaron sighed, and held the back of her head gently as she cried.
"Who told you that? Who said he was a bad man?" Aaron asked softly.
"Negan. He told me. And it makes sense, because everything daddy did lead to Glenn... It's his fault. He killed my Glenny."
"No," Aaron whispered, stroking Mary's head, "he's not. Everyone does things, and everything has consequences. Maybe deep down, it's my fault. Maybe it's actually Maggie's fault, or Sasha's, or Daryl's, or Carl's, or Michonne's, or Rosita's, or maybe even Judith's fault. Every single action has consequences, but you don't know what they are until it's too late. But... If you spilt a drink on me, so I went to go get changed, and on the way there I saw some apples and went to pick them, ten I got surprised by someone, let's say Eugene, thought he was a Walker, and shot him... Would that be your fault?"
"No," Mary answered slowly, understanding suddenly, "because you actually killed him. Not me. All I did was spill my drink."
"And all your daddy did was accept a deal from the Hilltop. And he accepted it to give you, and Judith, and Carl, and all of us, a better life. It's not your daddy's fault."
"No. No, it was Negan. It was him, wasn't it? It's all his fault." Mary cried softly.
"Your daddy's not a bad man. I promise. Try to remember that if you end up back there. But if you forget, I'll explain again. Don't worry. I know it's hard. It's hard when you're only little and someone takes you away."
"It's confusing. I don't remember who's good and bad." Mary whimpered.
"Me neither. You just gotta have trust," Aaron smiled softly, "and you can trust your daddy."
Mary was going to reply to him, but she was shocked by a gun shot, and the shattering of glass. By the time they'd gotten up, Mary and Aaron were composed, and they'd ran into the infirmary, Negan and Rick were there too.
"Carl." Mary breathed, a grin on her face, as she saw her brother holding a gun to two Saviours.
"Kid, what do you think happens next?" One of them chuckled.
"You die." Carl replied harshly, and Mary smiled again, squeezing Aaron's hand.
"He's such a badass." She whispered, and Carl's head span to her.
"Mary. M-M-Mary." He breathed shakily, his eye meeting his little sister's. They looked as though they'd aged years since she last saw him, yet they were still filled with love.
"Carl, Carl put it down." Rick hissed frantically, his voice full of fear.
"No. He's taking all of our medicine. They said only half our stuff." Carl said firmly.
"Of course," Negan laughed, walking to Rick's side, "oh-ho! Really, kid?"
"And you should go," Carl warned seriously, "before you find out how dangerous we all are."
Mary shook her head frantically, wanting Carl to stop, but his stare stayed steely, his grip on the gun firm.
"Well pardon me, young man. Excuse the shit out of my gaddamn French, but... Did you just threaten me? Look, I get threatening Davey here, but I can't have it, not him, not me."
"Carl, just put it down." Rick begged, and Aaron held Mary's hand tighter.
"Don't be rude Rick! We are having a conversation here. Now, boy, where were we? Oh yeah. Your giant man sized balls! No threatening us. Listen, I like you, and, well, You little sister can get over leaving you all. She didn't seem to upset about her Uncle Glenn, since she's not tried to escape or kill me, but I think if I killed you, well... She'd never cooperate, so I don't want to go hard proving a point here. You don't want that. I said half your shit, and half is what I say it is. I'm serious. Do you want me to prove how serious? Again? She's already seen two of her friends be killed. Does she need to see it again?"
Carl sighed shakily, then lowered his gun, giving it to Rick, but before he could put it away, Negan snatched it from him.
"You know Rick, this whole thing reminds me that you have a lot of guns. There's all the guns you took from my outpost when you wasted all my people with a shit ton of your own guns, and I'm bettin' there's even more, which adds up to an absolute ass load of guns, and as this little emotional outburst just made crystal clear, I can't allow that!"
Rick's eyes fell on Carl, and he turned away, looking at Mary shakily. He mouthed four tiny words - I love you, Moo - then Negan spoke up again.
"They're all mine now. So tell me, Rick, where are my guns?"
"I'll, I, I'll, take you. But can... Please, I'm cooperating. I'm doing whatever you want. But please, let Mary and Carl have some time together. Let them have a second." Rick begged.
"Mary. If I let you spend some time with your brother, are you gonna be a good girl? You have to come back with me like a good girl, and you have to do as I say. Okay?"
"Okay. I promise. Thank you." Mary whispered.
"Thank you." Rick whispered shakily, then he left, leading the way. Once everyone was gone, Mary let go of Aaron's hand, and ran into Carl's arms. Aaron left them to it, knowing Carl never truly relaxed until he was alone with either Mary, Rick, or Michonne, and as soon as he had gone, Carl burst into tears, clinging to his baby sister, her whole head getting wet with the tears.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry he got you. But I'm gonna make it right. You're gonna be home soon. Home forever." Carl cried softly.
"Don't cry," Mary whispered tearfully, "don't cry. I hate it when you cry. You never cry. This isn't bad enough for you to cry about."
"It is." Carl whispered shakily, standing her up and wiping his eyes, then he put his hands on her shoulders. "Do you want to go get some fresh clothes? That's... That's Glenn's jacket."
"Yeah. Is Bertie and Chicken okay?" Mary asked quietly.
"Yeah. Come on then, let's go." Carl said softly, standing up and carrying her on his hip, and he carried her into their home, the pair of them crying softly, clinging to each other, never wanting to let go.

I just would like to say (after having a lot of hate direct messages over the past few chapters) that Mary is simply very confused. People are upset about the fact that she didn't remember John, but realistically, she has not seen John since she was three, almost four. That's two years ago. A normal child would, but remember that John would have moved out to college when she was two, so she wouldn't have seen him a lot anyway. Also, no one talks to her about him, and she had been constantly told that Carl is her brother, not John... With all the horrific things that have happened, it would be natural for her to not remember him.
Also, for everyone who is very angry about the whole Mary/Rick/Negan (this is directed to the people who have sent me incredibly rude, heated messages over the matter), Mary is confused. She has seen Negan kill Glenn, but she has also seen Rick kill countless people, very brutally, in front of her. She has lost one of the people she loves most in the world, and it is natural for her to be very vulnerable. Negan is taking advantage of that, and manipulating her.
I would also like to say that this chapter does not include Mary almost forgiving Rick because of the hate (and she has not forgiven him yet), this chapter was written a week ago, and it is because this is how I want the book.
Thank you to anyone who read this little rant... Love you all so much for reading my book!
Emmy xx