Just Keep Walking

Eighty

The next night, Mary barely slept. She was curled up in Glenn's jacket, under some blankets, with her picture of herself and Glenn in one hand, and her bunny in the other. All she could think in her head was how her daddy was the bad guy. Her daddy was the bad guy. Her daddy was the bad guy.
Her daddy and Uncle Daryl killed Glenn just as much as Negan did.
Her daddy was the monster.
Her daddy was a killer.
Her daddy was worse than Negan.
Her daddy was evil.
Her daddy was a liar.
Her daddy was the bad guy.
It replayed in her head, over and over, until she was shaken awake by a knock on her door.
"Mary? It's Al. I'm coming in." Alden called, before opening her door.
"Alden, I'm confused." Mary sighed dramatically, as he came in and brought in her breakfast.
"About what?" He chuckled, rolling his eyes.
"My daddy. He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy, I know that now. But is Negan a bad guy, or a good guy?"
"I..." Alden sighed, pausing in thought, "I think that Negan has good intentions, but sometimes he doesn't address them the best way. Between you and me, of course."
"Now my daddy's a bad guy, what does that make the rest of my family? And my group? Are they bad guys too? Am I a bad guy? What about... Glenn wasn't a bad guy. I'm sure of that. He hated killing people. He loved me and looked after me. But... Uncle Daryl and Mishy and Carl and Carol and almost everyone else kill people. And they don't mind. Is Carl a bad guy? and Mishy?"
"I don't know these people. But I'm sure they're good people. And I'm sure that Glenn was a good person. He sounds like he was. And Carl's your brother, right?"
"Right." Mary whispered.
"And he's a kid. Kids can be bad, yeah? But they're kids, so they've got plenty of time to change. So no kid can truly be bad, because it's not final. They're not grown up yet."
"So Carl's good?" Mary asked unsurely, and Alden nodded.
"Yeah. Yeah, he is. So that means at least one person in your family is definitely good. Does that make you feel you better about everything?"
"Yeah." Mary nodded, and Alden reached over, ruffling her hair.
"Okay. You hop out of bed, and get dressed and eat your breakfast. Negan told me to tell you that he's taking you to look around today."
"Okay. Alden, is this my new home?" Mary whispered, a slight sigh in her voice. She missed her family. She missed Glenn, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Judith, Maggie, Daryl. Even though she wasn't sure if they were good guys or not.
"For now." Alden nodded, and Mary sighed, but ate her breakfast. Being alone, everything changing, it didn't bother her as much as it used to. She'd grown up the past week. She'd lost so much, she'd had to.

"Hey. Kid, come on. It's time to look around. Come with me." Negan ordered, opening Mary's door.
"Am I meeting people?"
"Yeah."
"I really need my hair doing," Mary pointed out, "because daddy says that you always have to make a good impression, and little girls with messy hair don't make a good impression."
"Can we drop this shit? No one cares about your fucking hair." Negan sighed.
"They do care. I'm not dropping it. Please do my hair. Now." Mary hissed, and Negan sighed, but walked over, then pulled her hair into an incredibly messy ponytail.
"Good enough, princess?" Negan mocked, and Mary nodded.
"Not as good as..."
"What?"
"Never mind." Mary shrugged, walking out of the door, Glenn's unzipped jacket falling to her ankles, her feet bare and tiny, her dungarees now clean and ironed for the first time ever.
Mary took Negan's hand as they walked, until they got to a railing over a large hall, filled with people. As soon as they saw Negan, they knelt, and Mary looked up at him in confusion.
"What are they doin'?" Mary scoffed.
"Kneeling," Negan answered, walking down into the hall, "see? I'm the boss. Everyone respects me. And you're with me, and you're also a fucking badass. So they respect you too." Negan explained. Mary nodded, and carried on walking beside him, holding his hand tightly, until a young man ran over. His hair was dark, and his eyes were a deep brown, and filled with pain and loss. A scar ran across his left cheekbone, and his tanned skin was covered in freckles. Mary was shocked by how tall and how slim he was, and that despite that fact that he seemed old, he looked young for his age. In actual fact, the man was twenty, but in Mary's eyes, he looked sixteen, only a little older than Carl.
"Ladybug? Mary?! My God! Mary!" He shouted, tears down his cheeks.
"What the hell are you doing?" Negan spat, holding his hand or so the man couldn't get any closer. Mary looked at him slowly, unsure, confused.
He had messy brown hair and deep brown eyes, and looked like a normal person. She slightly recognised him, but not enough. She recognised him the same way that she'd recognise a stranger she said hello to in the street, once upon a time.
"That's my little sister! Mary, Bug, it's me!" He said, crounching down and looking into Mary's deep, dark eyes.
"Mary? Do you know this man?" Negan asked firmly.
"No." Mary whispered, confusion in her eyes. Her heart was thumping in her chest. She didn't have another brother. She didn't. She couldn't. Her daddy only had one son, and his name was Carl Grimes.
"Mary. It's John. Your big brother," The man explained slowly, "it's me. Where's mommy and daddy, Mary? Where's mommy?"
"Daddy's at Alexandria." Mary replied in confusion. "Mommy died when she had Judith."
"Oh God. Mommy had a baby? Judith? No. No, she can't have. And Adam?"
Mary looked at him blankly.
"Mary. Is this man your brother?" Negan asked again, harsher this time. "Because your daddy said it was just you and Carl."
"Carl's my brother." Mary mumbled, her eyes welling up with tears. Carl. She missed him. She didn't know if she missed Rick, but she missed Carl. She didn't know if Rick was a good man, but Carl was. That, she knew.
"Who the hell is Carl? Mary, do you not know who I am? Don't you remember? It's me! Your brother, John!"
"My brother is Carl!" Mary screamed, clinging to Negan's arm.
"Mary. Mary Elizabeth Carter, it's me."
"You're wrong. My name is Mary Grimes. I don't have a middle name. And it's Grimes. Like my daddy!"
"You're my sister!" John shouted, running out of patience, "Mary! I'd recognise you anywhere. You're my sister!"
"Hey. Get away from her. She says you're not her brother. You're not." Negan said fiercely.
"Bug. Sweetie, I know you recognise me. It's John. Your brother."
"My brother is called Carl." Mary repeated firmly.
"John. I will ask you once. Is this child your sister? Is she lying? Does Rick Grimes have another secret son?"
"She's my sister. She's only little, and she's... She's different. She's shy and nervous and she doesn't trust people. Our father made sure of that. He... He was abusive. But I looked after her! She, she doesn't talk to many people. She - she- she likes cars, likes rolling them around, she likes snuggling into soft things, she - she - she, when she was little, she had this weird obsession with ears. Used to tug on them when she wanted something, or wanted to get someone's attention."
Alden overheard this, and it jerked him into the conversation even more. Once, when he'd took Mary her dinner, he'd sat and played checkers with her. He'd gone blank for a few seconds, and, to remind him that it was his turn, Mary tugged his ear. He couldn't help but wonder if this man was right.
"She doesn't like it when things get to loud," John continued, "she gets clingy. She's not too bad, some people wouldn't even notice how different she is, how clingy and shy and scared and damaged she is, but it's there. And she'll have gone though shit these past years? How... Who kept her alive? I owe them my life but, but, she... She... she needs me."
"I don't know you!" Mary screamed, everything getting took much.
"No! I'm your brother. John. Bug. Come on, I don't know who this Carl kid is, but I'm your brother."
"No you're not!" Mary screamed
"Daryl?" Negan shouted, and the man appeared from the side, in chains, a shadow of the man he once was, now a slave to Negan.
"Rick don't have any more kids." Daryl whispered gruffly, his voice hoarse from lack of use.
Negan turned to John angrily. "You lied to me. You've upset the little girl. This is what happens, people! She is off fucking limits!" Negan shouted. Then he swung Lucille down on John's skull. Mary began to scream, and she ran to Alden. As the man became a bloodied mess on he floor, Alden held Mary, guns at his head, as she wailed.
But afterwards, when Mary clung to Alden, when she shrank away from Negan, fear in her eyes, Negan began to get angry. Mary couldn't help it; he killed John the same way that he killed Glenn. It was like watching Glenn be killed all over again.
But Negan suddenly didn't like that Mary trusted a worker over him, so that next morning, when he went on his supply run to Alexandria, a matching car took Alden in a different direction, to a different outpost.
Negan has plans for Mary, and she didn't need someone to comfort her, to protect her. She needed someone to help her thrive. To feed her strength, and turn her into an incredibly ruthless soldier. To turn her even more against her father. Negan needed someone who would take over the Sanctuary one day, and Mary looked like the perfect person for that job.
He just needed to change her, to break her. To keep her away from people who could give her love and affection. She needed to grow up to be strong, not soft. Turning her against Rick was just the beginning.
Mary was never going to look at her father the same way again, if Negan could help it.