Jared Abitol is ugly, past his prime, and desperate for love.
Years of being hyper-aware of his own looks have made Jared develop social anxiety. When you look like Jared, love isn't easy to find. Jared might not have the looks or confidence, but h...
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Throughout Friday Jared had convinced himself that what he was going to attempt to do with Darnell wasn't a big deal. He would just suck him off, and maybe if he was feeling a little confident, he would 'eat' Darnell's ass as Austin told him to.
It wasn't a big deal.
Darnell always did it for him, so why couldn't he do it for Darrell?
That's what he had thought, and that was the mindset he used to soothe himself all day. But now that he was hovering over Darnell in bed. Now that he was looking down at the person that made his stomach twist and swell with nerves, Jared didn't think he could do it. It wasn't because he didn't want to try. He just felt stupid. When Darnell sucked him off, he looked absolutely adorable doing it. Jared loved to look at his face and stroke his hair. Would Darnell want to look at him? Would he make a mistake and mess everything up? Would he look stupid? These were the questions that were plaguing his mind.
"Are you feeling alright?" Darnell asked, bringing Jared out of his thoughts. It was then the older man realized he had been hovering over Darnell and giving him a frown for a little too long. He relaxed his features, nodding his head in response to Darnell's question before muttering an apology for spacing out and scaring him. He didn't mean to frown. The frown was directed to his inner thoughts and not Darnell.
"I'm so sorry," Jared apologized again, moving his weight until he was lying on his side. He sat up, hugging his knees to himself as he let out a small sigh. "I was just — thinking."
Darnell stared at the older man, wondering what was on his mind. He sat up on the bed, scooting over until he was right next to Jared. He rested his head on the man's shoulder, closing his eyes as he let out a deep breath. "Talk to me," Darnell muttered, reaching out to take Jared's hands in his. "Please?" he asked, giving it a little squeeze. Darnell removed his head from Jared's shoulder, and the older man turned to face him with a slightly red face.
Jared shrugged. "I wanted to do something for you then I freaked out," he admitted, making Darnell raise a brow at him.
"Do what?" the younger man asked, letting go of Jared's hand before brushing stray strands of hair away from the man's face.
Jared's face turned redder as he opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. He covered his face with his hand, looking at Darnell from the space between his fingers before speaking up. "Suck you off, and maybe something more. I don't know—" Jared trailed as his face heat up even more. Why were they talking about this like they were in relationship counseling?
"Oh, I just thought it wasn't your thing," Darnell said as Jared took his hand away from his face.
"It's not. Well, not that, but I've never done it," Jared explained and Darnell just nodded.
There was a pause as Jared tried to arrange the words in his head to make sense. There was so much to say, but very little ways to say them without being embarrassing. "D-do you want me to do it?" Jared asked. He just needed Darrell to be a little enthusiastic or even indifferent about the situation. He didn't want to do something that would make Darnell disgusted. That would defeat the whole purpose of doing it to please him.
