My Idol

thirty three

"So what if I am. What are you gonna do about it? It's not like you can stop me." You smiled to yourself as you watched his brows rise above his closed eyes.

"That's what you think, huh? We'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

Your taunt had the desired effect, because he turned onto his side, his eyes opening once he was safe from the blinding sun, and then he was hovering over you, kissing you, your eyes closing, which meant you could no longer look at him. It was what you'd hoped for. You reacted the way you thought he'd expect you to, gasping and trying to push him away. "Tae, there's people around, someone is going to see us."

He glanced up, looking around. "No one is paying any attention, y/n, because we're in the park, and this stuff happens all the time in the park." He tilted his head to the side. "But if you're that worried about it, I'll take care of it." Without warning, he grabbed the edge of the blanket farthest from him, and pulled it over the both of you, wrapping it around you like a taco, shielding you from everyone's view.

You giggled, smiling up at him, loving his playfulness. He stared at you, and seconds later, he was kissing you again, deeply. It was exactly what you wanted. You kissed him back, your arms winding around him, holding on, never wanting to let go. Why couldn't you just stay here, just like this, forever?

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Tae had suggested a walk, and it had been beautiful. By the time you were ready to head back, it was just starting to get dark, and everything was lit up. There were a million stars in the sky, and you gazed up at them as you walked, your hand in Tae's, your arms swinging lightly.

"I have to go in to work tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. We have a meeting, and then an interview. Most likely practice after. I figured you could get used to the house, look around, figure out where everything is, and just make yourself at home. I might not be home till pretty late.  Will you be okay?"

Your heart twisted, and you hated this. Hated that he sounded like a husband making sure his wife would be okay all day without him.  Because tomorrow was exactly the kind of day you needed. You didn't know it would happen so soon, but you weren't going to take the chance to wait for another one like it. You needed a whole day to yourself to do what you had planned.

"Of course, I'll be fine. You just do what you've gotta do, and don't worry about me."

You walked the rest of the way in silence, and before long you reached his house. After getting inside, he turned on a lamp,  put the blanket on the couch, and sat, patting the spot next to him. You sat beside him, and looked at him, assuming he had something to say.

"Y/n, are you sure you're okay? Because I get the feeling that something is really bothering you, and you're keeping it all inside. I just don't know why. We promised not to keep things from each other, and I'd like to still keep that promise. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

There was a tiny small part of you that wanted to tell him, and that wanted him to not let you go, to tell you that he needed you, and that he couldn't make it without you. But you knew he didn't need you, because he had the guys, and millions of fans who loved him. You knew he would be fine without you. You knew you weren't going to tell him, because you knew that if he tried to get you to stay, you would.

"It's nothing Tae, really. I think I just need to catch up on sleep is all. Maybe I'm still suffering from the time difference, It has only been 5 days, so my body probably just hasn't adjusted yet. Maybe I'll try to get some extra sleep tomorrow while you're gone, and see if it helps at all."

He studied your face for a few minutes, then leaned in to kiss your forehead. "Okay, well, how bout we go to bed then. I just wanna hold you all night."

You smiled, and nodded. "I'd like that."

He locked the door, and turned off the lamp, taking your hand and leading you up the stairs. Once in the bedroom, he started moving the pillows from the bed to the floor. He finished, and turned back to you, coming to stand in front of you.

"Can I undress you? I don't want anything but to hold you, except I want to feel your skin against mine. Is that okay?" He looked at you tenderly.

You nodded, your heart feeling like it was being ripped in two. This was the last night you would lie next to him, in his arms. It was the last night you would get to feel his body against yours, or press your lips to his neck. It was the last night you'd listen to his heart beat, or smell his scent. You were doing the right thing. He'd be grateful later, wouldn't he?

He gently removed your clothes, then his, folding the covers back, and getting into bed, holding them up so you could join him. You crawled into his embrace, his skin feeling so warm against yours, and you pressed your ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat, letting it calm you. You couldn't stop the tears that quickly welled up in your eyes, feeling them spill over onto your cheeks, except he didn't see them. But it was only a few seconds before he felt them.

When he realized you were crying, he pulled back, looking down at you, worried. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm happy, Tae. Today was a perfect day, and this is perfect, and I'm just happy."

He accepted it, and pulled you to him again, rubbing your back, and singing softly, until you finally fell asleep.