Affection // irwin

Chapter 28

I jolt straight up in bed and feel the sweat run down my back. My breathing is fast and my eyes darts back and forth. Where am I? It’s dark, but I think I see the outlines of a desk and book shelves. I breathe out. It wasn’t real. It was only a bad dream. 

I’m usually wide awake after having a bad dream, but not today. I’m tired and my head is spinning. I look at the alarm clock. 3.21 am. I can’t remember falling asleep. Last thing I remember is Ashton bringing me food. Then it’s completely black, well except for the nightmare. It’s still imprinted on my brain. I hope to forget about it soon. I don’t want another thing bringing me down.

I notice my door still being closed and I take a look around the room. My eyes slowly getting used to the dark, but I feel my heart drop when I don’t find what I’m looking for. Him. Did I want him to be here? Yes. I don’t want to wake up in the morning and face my parents alone. I want him with me. He’ll keep me distracted from my tears.

Even though I’m sweating, I feel cold and pull up the cover even further. My forehead is hot. Well that’s just great. First a breakdown and now a fever.

Awesome.

The next time I wake up it’s 7.46. My room is filled with light even though the curtains are down. The door is still closed. My head is still heavy, but the fever seems to have dropped. I reach for my phone on the stool next to me where the alarm clock and my watch are. I try to turn it on but nothing happens. I sigh. That’s right, the battery died. I grasp for the charger, without leaving the bed, and plug it in. Within a few moments, the screen lights up and the phone begins to buzz. Shit. I put it under the cover quickly and try to turn the vibration off. I don’t want anyone knowing I’m awake, I don’t want anyone to come in here. I breathe out when I find the right command. 

78 unread messages, 36 missed calls, 17 voice mails.

My eyes shoots wide open as I see they’re all from the same person. He must have been desperate. He did tell me he tried contacting me on my phone and even on Facebook. Can’t wait to see how many unread messages I have on there...

I scroll through the conversation to find the first one. He sent it right when I stepped into the car when mom picked me up. I remember my phone buzzing but I really didn’t want to read it. My mind was elsewhere.

*There’s something I want to tell you*

*Can we meet up?*

*How about Sunday’s? I’ll get some Irwin’s Jam for you ;-)*

He probably wanted to tell me about Amy and their breakup. Too bad Luke got before him, I think to myself. The next couple of texts were sent about an hour after that.

*Hello?*

*Knock knock?*

Who’s there?

*You’re supposed to say ‘who’s there?’ or else I’ll look like a loner :-(*

I can’t help but smile. I keep scrolling but he doesn’t finish the joke, he just keeps texting me random things. Some sounds a little desperate, typing my name, over and over again. Every now and then there’s a line saying there’s a missed call. Sometimes there’s a number in brackets.

*You haven’t replied to any of my texts or phone calls. Have you lost your phone? If you have, this message is pointless. If anyone else has found this phone, please return to Joselyn Zimmermann.*

He’s written down my adress and I’m surprised even knows the zip code. Not even I know the zip code.

*But if you haven’t lost your phone, maybe you’re just ignoring me?*

No, I wasn-. Okay, I kind of was, but who would blame me? At least he found out why I didn’t reply to any of these texts. I decide to listen to one of the 17 voice messages he’s sent, just to hear his voice this early in the morning.

“Hey Joselyn, what’s up? Uhm, It’s me…Ashton. Ashton Irwin. About 6 ft tall, light brown hair, hazel eyes. I hope you haven’t forgot about me? I’m just calling to check up on you and see how you’re doing” There’s silence and I wonder if he’s hung up but then he clears his throat “Just give me a call when you hear this. We need to talk. Oops, sounds serious. It’s not. I just…”

BEEP.

“Damn it. Why won’t answer machines ever let you finish? Anyway, where was I? Hmm… Oh yeah. It’s not that serious, but there’s something you need to know. I can’t say it on the phone, I kind of want to see your face. That sounded creepy. But…just call me , okay?”

These were sent late Monday evening, my phone was already dead by then so no wonder I didn’t hear the phone buzz twice as much as it always does when someone calls. I go back to the messages.

*It’s Tuesday now*

*Still waiting for a sign from you. If you haven’t replied to me by tonight, I’ll come to your house tomorrow. Things are quite a mess right now. Lots of people at work, I’ve gotta go. Yolanda’s making me go mad*

*Have you changed your number?*

*’Cause if you have, this is embarrassing, me texting some random person*

*Is it because of the kiss?*

No. How can he even think about that? The kiss is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve never felt more alive.

*It’s Wednesday morning now and I am officially worried about you now*

*Just text me a dot or something*

*Anything*

.

.

.

*I just spoke to Michael and he was at your dad’s office but your dad wasn’t there. Got told there was a family emergency? ARE YOU ALRIGHT???*

*PLEASE ANSWER ME*

*I’m coming to you now*

That was the last text he sent. Shit. I call back to the voice mail and skip past them all until the last two, sent right after the last text.

“Joselyn, for fuck sake, are you alright?” He sounds out of breath “I’m on my way to you know. Just please pick up the phone. Pick it up. I don’t know if you’ve seen my texts but Michael was at your dad’s office but your dad wasn’t there because of some family emergency. Tell me this isn’t true? Are you alright? Joselyn, tell me you’re alright. Please.”

BEEP

“I’m five minutes away. Just stay where you are. Please.”

He sounds desperate. It’s sounds like a cry for help and suddenly his voice becomes distant. I think he’s talking to himself, but I can’t hear what exactly he is saying. The call ends and I’m left with tears. A few minutes after that call, he was knocking on my door.

-

Did anyone see 5SOS' acceptance viceo from the TCAs and then Ashton's tweet? Hahahhahahahaha omfg. I can't stop laughing :D :D

Anyway, you should know the drill by now - if you like it, don't forget to vote and comment. Thanks for reading :) I love you guys!!! xx