I throw myself onto bed as soon as I get home. Today was supposed to be the day my new life began but it felt like I was back in High School all over again; people calling me names and the tears that would never stop falling. And once again, I was alone. I wish I could be that girl who could go up to a random person and instantly become best friends. Chat away about clothes or hot guys, go shopping at the mall and gossip. But I’m not one of those girls. I’m not good with compliments and I don’t exactly know how to start a conversation, or keep it going for that matter. I’m scared they will judge me for what I say and for what I don’t say. I have lived through them both but I know I prefer not saying anything at all. It is easier that way, no need to explain how I feel. I wonder if Amy could feel anything at all. Did she know she hurt people? I hope she’s not going to the same University as me. It doesn’t look like she does. And if she did, she wouldn’t have very high grades, or attendance, I smile to myself. Here I am, judging people again. Why is Ashton with her? Had I misjudged him? Is he actually as mean as her? Maybe he’s even worse… I had only met him twice but he had looked at me in a way I could never explain.
I’m deep in thought when I hear the doorbell ring. Must be mom who forgot her keys, as usual. I open the door and just stand there with my mouth open. Speak of the devil…
“How did…?”
Ashton is standing in front of me.
“Can I come in?” His voice a bit unsure.
I let him in, still in shock. I check the mirror to see if my eyes are red after all the crying. A bit puffy but I can deal with that. Besides, he’s already seen me with red eyes. He walks straight to the living room, like he expects me to follow him, which I also do. What else would I do? He can rob us, I don’t even know him.
“I will answer any question you like but first answer this. Are you okay?”
He sits down on the couch and looks up at me. I nod even though I know he knows I’m lying.
“How did you find me?”
“Well, there aren’t many Joselyn Zimmermann in this city,” he smirks.
“But…”
I’m confused. How did he know my last name? I haven’t told him. I haven’t told anyone.
“I accidently looked down in your bag and saw your name on the cover of a book earlier today.”
“There must have been a few other Joselyn Zimmermann’s though,” I say, thinking it wasn’t an accident.
“Yeah, there were. But only one around your age and who lived in the area.”
“Stalker,” I mutter.
He chuckles in the most adorable way. I feel my stomach flutter.
“What?”
“Nothing,” I blush.
“Aren’t you going to sit down?”
I don’t even notice I’m still standing up. I sit down on the other couch, opposite from him.
“What are you doing here anyway?”
He leans forward.
“To see if you’re okay, of course.”
“Well I already told. So…”
“And we both know you weren’t exactly telling the truth. Besides, you didn’t tell me anything, you only nodded.”
How could he know I wasn’t telling the truth?
“I apologize on behalf of Amy. She can be a…what’s the right word for this?”
“Bitch?” I blurt out, not sure where it came from. I never call people by those words. And especially not in front of the person’s boyfriend.
“Not the word I was going for but I’ll go with it. For you. She doesn’t know when to shut up and isn’t very good with words. And she hurt you, which is not okay, obviously. I talked to her but I know she won’t apologize so I’m here instead,” he says. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here”
I have never had anyone to talk with before.
“I don’t even know you. Why would I talk to you?”
“Fair enough. Do you wanna start over?”
I nod slowly.
“Can you do other things than just nod?” He smiles and his dimples grows deeper.
I shake my head and hear him chuckle. It is so adorable. Goddammit, Joselyn. Don’t fall for him.
“Okay. I’ll start. My name is Ashton Irwin. I’m from Sydney and I like koala bears. What about you?”
“My name is Joselyn Zimmermann, I’m originally from Toronto, Canada and I like the color mint green.”
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
It wasn’t, actually. But they were only simple things.
“You know, I would appreciate it if you would actually talk and not just think. I really like to hear those beautiful words of yours,” his cheeks turns a bit red when he realizes what he had just said.
I blush again. Is he flirting with me?
“You’re doing it again.”
“Sorry. I've just…never really had anyone to talk to before.”
Did I just tell him that? I never tell people that, even though they probably already know. Ashton is just about to say something when we hear a key in the lock, and we both stand up quickly. I laugh at his reaction, which makes him smile and my knees go weak. What is happening to me?
“Jo? Are you home? Whose sneakers are…?” My mom goes quiet when she sees Ashton standing about 3 feet behind me.
“Hi, Mrs. Zimmermann.”
“Oh please, call me Juliet.”
Mom puts on her brightest smile and shakes Ashton’s hand, hard. I see him wincing.
“Okay, Juliet. I’m Ashton. Joselyn’s friend.”
I look at him. Did he just tell my mom that he is my friend? Mom raises one of her eyebrows. I know exactly what she is thinking so I just shake my head no, but she doesn’t notice or she doesn’t care.
“So, Ashton, are you staying for dinner?”
I freeze. She did not just do that.
“No, I was actually just about to leave. But thank you. I’ll see you later Joselyn!”
He puts on his shoes fast and is out the door before I can even open my mouth to say goodbye. What was that all about?
“He seems nice. And he is handsome. Nice work, Jo,” she winks at me.
“Mom, please,” I’m embarrassed. “He’s got a girlfriend”
“He seems nice anyway.”
She gives me a smile. A smile I hadn’t seen in years but I know what it meant. She is proud of me. Proud of me for making a friend and it’s only the first day. Even I am a bit proud myself.
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Affection // irwin
Fanfiction"I heard you get butterflies in your stomach when you fall in love, or have a crush on someone. I've never experienced it so I didn't know what it meant, until now. My stomach is fluttering and my heart is not beating at normal rate. How did this h...
