So I'm a Vampire... Now What? - Book 2 (Original Version)

Chapter 5.2 - Moving On pt2

Sometimes life is a series of interruptions.

Knock, knock, knock!

"Leave me alone Ronnie!"

"Can you stop sulking and talk to mama? Tell her that I'm okay? She thinks I got kidnapped or something."

"Why does she think you got kidnapped? I thought she knew you were coming here?"

"Well, it's complicated. I went out por la leche, and when I got it, I just didn't want to go home, so I just started driving and driving... And driving... "

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Can you come and talk to her? She thinks the kidnappers are making me make up stories. She also thinks I'm about to be sold as a sex slave, so please, please be the responsible adult and tell her I'm safe."

I opened my bedroom door a crack. Ronnie's not-so-innocent and hopeful face grinned back at me. I rolled my eyes and took the offered phone.

"Auntie Angelica, it's me, Roberto," I said.

Twenty minutes later, I was finally able to hand the phone back to Ronnie. You know how it is with aunts and grandmothers: they get you into a conversation and then that shit is locked down. You have to sit and listen to their stories and advice and just nod and smile (remembering to give the usual verbal cues) and agree that yes, Ronnie is an idiot and that no, I couldn't believe she would be so irresponsible, especially with the way Auntie Angelica's angina has been acting up and did I hear about Doreen and the trouble at her job the other day... And on and on. When you haven't talked to your relatives in a while, they feel the need to fill you in on every single thing, no matter how inconsequential. No matter if you want to listen to them or not.

Auntie Angelica had assured me she wasn't going to call the cops and that yes, I would say hi to Claude for her. I glared extra hard at Ronnie as she took the phone.

"I intend to go into this room and sulk for the next three days. There might be cereal in the cupboard. Don't know, don't care. Don't interrupt me again."

"Pendejo! We bought you groceries last night! Well, Claude did. What are we going to do about the door? It's cold out there you know." Something occurred to her. "You still do feel the cold right?"

"Wear a coat or something. I dunno. I'll call Oscar, and maybe he can get someone to come out and replace it. Won't be the first time."

The look of sudden realization that she had bitten off way more than she could chew was very satisfying. I slowly closed my bedroom door on her horrified and calculating face.

***

Knock, knock, knock.

"Bob," Ronnie called from the other side of my door. "I know you said not to interrupt you unless the house is burning down—"

"But what?" I said irritably.

"There's a guy out here threatening to set the place on fire if you don't show your face."

I thought about it for a second.

"Does he have a torch?"

"What?"

"Or a lighter? Does he at least have a lighter? Because if he doesn't, then it's not a very good threat."

"Can you just come out here, please?" Ronnie called. "Like right now would be nice?"

I exited the bedroom cautiously, totally not in the mood for this shit and making sure my face carried this message. I half-expected to be hit over the head or ambushed in some extremely rude way, but nothing like that happened. It was almost disappointing.