Just Like Her

Chapter 43

Tom

I lay sprawled on the couch, tossing my phone up into the air repeatedly. It'd been over an hour since Emma had texted me. I'd already checked twice to see if my response had actually gone through—it had—and began to wonder if perhaps my phone had spontaneously stopped receiving texts or calls.

That theory was invalidated when Cynthia called to tell me she was sending a messenger over with something pressing for me to sign. She completely ignored me when I asked what she was doing working on a Saturday night and instead demanded I be home to receive the bizarrely mysterious documents.

She was oddly curt, borderline rude even for her, but I let it go and tried not to sound pathetic as I assured her I was in for the night.

I tossed my phone again, a bit higher this time. On its return, the phone fumbled through my fingers and clattered to the floor. I cursed as I lunged toward it and inspected it for any damage.

I couldn't make out any, but perhaps there was some internal damage and now I really wouldn't be able to receive any...

"Oh for fuck's sake," I muttered to myself as I dialed Emma's number.

I drummed my fingers nervously on my leg as I waited for the line to pick up.

"Hello?"

I sat up slightly at the concerned tone of her voice. "Ems?"

"Tom!" I waited for her to say something more, but she didn't.

"Yeah, it's me... I was just returning your text."

"Oh." She sounded suddenly far away from the microphone.

"Am I on speaker?" I asked, surprised.

"No... I'm just in the car."

I nodded, trying my best not to let my suspicion get the better of me. "Where are you off to?"

"Nowhere—a friend's," she retracted suddenly.

Suspicion be damned.

"A friend from Kerry?" I asked dubiously. 

By Emma's own accounts there were hardly anyone her age left in Kerry, and, of those that had remained, she'd never been particularly close.

"H-hold on," she said before the line became muffled, presumably from Emma covering the receiver with her hand.

I stood and suddenly began to pace as I waited for her to eventually come back on. It was several minutes till she did.

"Still there?" She finally chirped.

"Yeah, I'm here," I responded as I began tugging at the hairs on the back of my head. "Where are you?"

"Oh, uh, I'm out of the car now." Her voice sounded clearer now, yet her tone still sounded far away.

I frowned at her evasive answer. "Right, well I didn't mean to keep you from your friend. I just..." I closed my eyes and sighed. "I just hadn't heard from you in a while."

"I know, sorry. My fault completely." She murmured something quietly so I just barely couldn't make it out.

"Is your friend there with you now?" I asked, somewhat incredulously at our apparent lack of privacy.

"What? No, of course not! Look, I'm sorry I haven't been very responsive lately. I've just been so busy—"

"Looking for work, I know. It's alright." I closed my eyes, cursing myself for jumping to unfair conclusions.

"But it isn't."

My eyes shot open in alarm as I stared at my reflection in the darkened window.

"It isn't fair to you, Tom."

I suddenly had difficulty breathing as a heavy dread began to fill my lungs.

"Wh-what are you saying?" I finally managed to rasp.

"I'm saying—" she started but stopped before clearing her throat and trying again. "I'm saying that ever since I moved back home we've been in a limbo of sorts."

"Ems—"

"Look, I know I've been the one avoiding any kind of conversation about it, but we're both miserable and—"

"I'm not miserable!" I managed to cut in.

"You're happy with me in Kerry?" She challenged.

I faltered. "No, but—"

"My point exactly, Tom."

I tightened my grip on my phone as the whine of door hinges filtered through the line.

I still had no idea where the hell Emma was or where she was going, but my prior suspicions had given way to panic as I realized that wherever it was, she was undoubtedly drifting further away from me.

While I could feel the rest of me shaking, I forced my voice to be steady if only to make her hear me, to convince her not to go in the direction I feared she was heading. "I'm happy just to have you in my life, Ems, in whatever capacity I can."

"Perhaps in the short term, Tom."

"Emma," my voice was low and ragged in its desperation. "Do not do this. Not now. Not like this."

Suddenly a knock sounded from the door. I curled my hand into a fist, cursing my sister's messenger and their shit timing.

"Please, Ems—"

"You deserve more, Tom. We both do."

How the hell could she sound so calm, so... at peace, I raged internally, when the words she said were shattering everything we'd worked so hard to build?!

I shook my head forcefully. "I don't want more, not with anyone else but you."

"Tom..." Emma sighed just as the knocking sounded again, louder this time.

I closed my eyes and ignored it.

"Emma, please don't—just let me come to Kerry and we can talk this through," I begged.

"I don't—"

"I'll take the next train! And I'll—"

"That won't do any good!" She exclaimed with a frustrated laugh.

My eyes stung with tears as I felt my heart splintering. "Emma, we can fix this! Let me fix this!"

"This isn't something you can fix on your own," she retorted sternly.

"Yes, I—"

The knocking had turned to pounding, only it wasn't just coming from the door... I glanced down at my phone as I heard it again:

The faint echo coming through Emma's side of the line.

I choked on the words, afraid to ask them, afraid to allow my hopes to even consider the possibility.

"Why wouldn't me taking the train do any good?" I finally managed quietly.

The pounding had stopped and, in the silence, I could practically hear Emma's smile radiating. "Because I'm not in Kerry."

Slowly, I turned on my heel and stared at the front door of my flat. 

"Where are you?"

"Open your door and find out," she whispered.

My phone fell from my hands as I leaped over the back of the couch and sprinted toward the door.