Muted Voices

26

"I don't know- I mean! Y-You're not a... uh terrible-"

She laughs bitterly waving her hand to cut me off, "You don't have to tell me what I want to hear. I know you don't like me. How could you? I've been nothing, but a bitch to you this whole time."

"What are y-you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb," she says. She grabs my thermos and pulls it over to her. She traces the rim with her manicured nail before sighing again. She sighs, a lot.

"I feel bad."

"Y-You don't have to. I was b-being pretty weird and anyone wouldbefreakedoutby-"

"Not about that," she says then blushes and looks down into my coffee, "Well, yeah, I feel bad about that. All of our interactions, really, but that's not what I'm talking about."

I don't say anything. I have no idea what she's talking about...

"It's just," she pauses, "Craig's a great guy and all, I just..." she doesn't finish. She opts instead to take a drink of my coffee, cringing when she realizes there's no sugar or cream in it.

"I don't know if I actually like Craig as much as I should," she says simply. She looks at me and seems a bit frazzled and starts to stammer: "It's not like I don't like him, but maybe not as much as he likes me? I just don't think I'm ready to be that serious with someone. I sit and think about if I'm actually happy with him or if I think I should be happy with him and it's completely not his fault, I just-"

"Why are you telling me this?"

There's a pause.

"I don't know..."