HMS Valediction

Chapter 5

I nod again. "I know what you mean."

We bow into our soup bowls, filling the silence around Flatts' unapologetic slurps.

"Lucky for us," I pipe up, hoping to get our minds off the turn of favor, "we're about to become real galactic explorers. Our first fuel stop is next week. You ready?"

Coodi continues to eye her spoon. "Yes, Commander. All procedures have been reviewed."

"What a surprise."

The meal complete, we take our bowls to the dishwasher and drop them in his black bins. They clatter with the other piles already there. I managed to finish my plate quickly and enviously gaze at the leftovers sloshing at the bottom of my VIPERs' bowls as they discarded them. When I realize how starved my son is for nourishment despite my own sickness, I gulp down the soup. It's hot and makes me feel full. With my body pressing against my uniform so tight, I can't eat anymore despite the fact that I'm still starving. I quickly escape from my team to make it to my cabin where I can stand naked in the room, finally free of all the restraints that make me twitchy throughout the day.

The patter of a familiar gait fall in line beside me.

"Do you expect there to be any trouble on Zeno A?" Coodi asks as she appears at my side.

"I expect everything to go absolutely wrong all the time. That's my job." I snap as I slow to make it seem like I'm not trying to sprint away.

She hangs her head as she keeps my pace.

"I don't mean it that way. Sorry. I'm just frustrated."

She doesn't respond. For the rest of our journey to Commanders Country, we scoot along and embrace the silence when it joins us. I open my mouth and try to say something to repair the complimentary camaraderie, but she cuts a sharp left and abandons me to my trek home.

When she leaves me alone I realize how desolate this place feels without her presence. I don't want to spend the rest of the evening on my own yet. At this particular fork, I could continue down the middle lane, return to my cabin and wait for morning, turn left to the racks to have Coodi recite the procedures of next week's touchdown like a lullaby, or I could take the right prong of the fork and bother my favorite confidant.

I meander to Knuckles' clinic room where I know he's nose-deep in some gadget. The light in his lab glows through the gap between the metal sliding doors. He doesn't even bother acknowledging me when I invade his space for the third time in twenty-four hours.

We don't say anything for a while. I lean forward against the counter and cross my arms, resting my full body weight against the cool metal cabinets. He hates this, but it's so comfortable.

"Have a good day at work, love?" His voice drips with his usual sarcasm. But having someone ask the question is nice regardless. Even if he knows exactly what kind of day I had.

"That's not funny," I spit back. "Someone's dead."

"And you are a Xani sympathizer."

"I didn't know there was anything to sympathize with when it came to them."

"Neither did I, but that's what the locals are a titter about."

"I had no choice."

He blows air out his nose and shakes his head. "If I didn't know you better, I wouldn't believe you."

There's no real response to this. I feel like vomiting. Still.

He finally emerges from his intense focus. His hair is longer and wilder, creating a silver halo around his dark head. It almost matches his wide glasses. There's a look in his eye that makes me think he regrets the last few words that he threw into the room. "You look terrible, Lorn. This isn't healthy, all this stress."