Until We Meet Again (Sirius x OFC)

Part 2 - Chapter 30: Sacrifices

Christmas approached but instead of merrier, things only got worse. Besides Umbridge's new decrees and general tyranny, I argued with her more and more. Not because I provoked, but because she did. She wouldn't back down asking me about Sirius and making remarks about my teaching methods, saying that my political views were too liberal and that I didn't follow her propositions. Whenever I would try to defend myself, she would twist the words in my mouth against me.

By now, I was sure she was trying to find a way to get rid of me. She hated me, based on her own prejudice against me and my past, and it was getting worse.

Every evening, I would sit in my office and try to find a way to make her believe me. But lying was slowly becoming impossible since her opinion of me seemed set in stone. So, I would go to bed wondering what kinds of humiliation would follow the next day.

Obviously, all of this didn't go unnoticed by the other Order members among staff. Minerva assured me that I wasn't at fault and that Umbridge was trying to get rid of anyone who seemed like a weak chain link. Me, with my past and connection to Sirius, was an easy target, just like Sybil who had the disadvantage of teaching a subject Umbridge didn't approve of. I knew she was right, but I wish she wasn't. I didn't want to be a weak chain link, I wanted to do my job unbothered.

Severus on the other hand was more impatient. Just now, he was sitting in my office again, trying to make sense of it. "I know most of this is Umbridge's doing, but I do also think that you are making it... too easy... for her."

"I tried, Severus, I really did."

"Not hard enough, apparently." By now, he wasn't as reluctant to talk to me or accept tea when I asked him. Still, it was impossible to read him. Severus only did what he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted. I had no idea why he even tried to help me.

"I don't think this is going to work. If she gets more and more freedom to do what she wants, then maybe she's going to find out... things. If she convinces the Minister of her suspicions, who knows if she can't force me to go to a hearing like Harry."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "What are you implying?"

"Maybe I should just admit defeat before it's too late."

"If you leave now, she will think you have something to hide."

"She thinks that no matter what I do."

Severus looked at me very intently, and I fidgeted. His dark eyes were boring into mine. "Don't."

"What?"

"Go back to Grimmauld Place and hide like a coward."

I frowned. "Coward? If this is about Sirius, then I..."

"He's not good for you right now," Severus interrupted. "He's miserable and he's going to make you miserable. Your place is here, as the Headmaster has ordered."

"What? I... Do you really think that?" I was partly angry about his audacity and partly curious as to why he would go out of his way to tell me this. Severus wasn't one to interfere in other people's business or relationships, so he must be really sure of that.

"I do think so. Not that I care about your betrothed."

"I'd never assume that," I said, rolling my eyes. "Anyway, I don't have a choice should things get worse."

Severus just sighed as if to tell me that I had to try harder. But I wasn't sure I could. There was a reason why Sirius and I were such a good match – a part of me was calm and collected, which helped keep him calm, but another part of me was just as rebellious and stubborn as he was. I just hoped it wouldn't lead to more trouble.