Until We Meet Again (Sirius x OFC)

Part 1 - Chapter 7: Dementor's Kiss

The new year started as bad as the other had ended. Since I now read the Daily Prophet indeed each day, I didn't miss anything. Especially not that, should Sirius be found, he was to be punished with the Dementor's Kiss. A lot of the students afterwards were asking what it meant. I told them to ask someone else because I didn't know. But of course, I did, and I felt sick all day.

Not that I hadn't expected it – but that's the thing with hard truths... as soon as they are spoken out loud, they become real and inevitable.

I told myself that it wouldn't happen. They hadn't found him until now, after all. Why would they now? Maybe he hadn't even been at Hogwarts, maybe everything was completely different than we estimated. I desperately hoped he was safe... and that, as soon as it had got calmer again, contacted me. But I had a bad feeling, as if there was a missing piece to the puzzle.

Remus tried to soothe me for days, but to no avail. I could barely concentrate when I had to give classes and my students were worried by now as well. Dumbledore made me have two day off since I was starting to get sick for real, eating too little and taking no care of myself. He even had Madam Pomfrey check on me once and it was a very unpleasant encounter. She scolded me for being reckless and I had to agree. I was indeed ignorant to my own health because the fear of Sirius's death was drowning me.

By now it was almost spring and every news was bad news for me. There had been multiple incidents again, one very realistic. Supposedly, Sirius had been in Harry's dorm... attacking Ron. I didn't even know what to make of this because it sounded absurd. A part of me thought it was madness. Why would Sirius come here if it was so dangerous? Why would he attack Ron? Another part of me thought that Sirius might have gone mad in Azkaban.

I wondered, if he really was here. And if he knew I was as well.

* * *

The sixth schoolyear didn't start well for me. I was too easily distracted, mostly by Sirius, and of course by the expectations of my family that were slowly pulling me under the surface of insanity. I had trouble concentrating in class. As if he had sensed it, my dad was sending me letters in which he told me that he expected all Os this year and how disappointed he was that I wasn't a prefect. Every day another letter with more demands. Truth was, Professor Flitwick had told me last year, that I would have been ideal to be a prefect and head-girl someday, but he wasn't sure if I could take even more stress than I already had.

But now things were looking bad and my chances decreased, teachers were asking me why I was so distracted, and my fear of failing any classes made me study even harder, almost maniacal. I spent most of my time at desks to make up for what I missed in class when my mind went blank. At some point, Lily and Remus were asking me to calm down, saying that there was enough time to revise for our end year exams left. It didn't help me, I just felt like I was running out of time.

Christmas holidays came, and my dad was furious when I got home. Apparently, Professor Flitwick had sent him a letter, expressing his concerns about my health. I didn't do anything wrong, he hadn't told him about my grades, yet my dad was stricter than ever and yelled at me all the time. Even my mom was starting to get impatient with him but she didn't dare do anything. So I was alone, mostly crying in my room, waiting for another punishment.

The worst thing was, that I realized I had to ignore Sirius from now on. No matter how much I liked him, no matter how much I hoped he'd ask me to be his girlfriend soon... if my dad found out (he already suspected a boy behind my issues), he would kill me and him probably right afterwards. Whenever Sirius tried to talk to me from then on, I would find excuses to leave. Just seeing his face in class made me forget that I had to focus and it didn't help that he tried to get my attention every few seconds. He sent me notes in class, smiled at me with this dreamy expression... and my mind and heart were full with him.