Isitlove? Daryl In Too Deep

Daryl's POV Chapter 82 Decisions, Decisions

I remember bits and pieces of strange things. Noises, voices in the dark, seeing Matt at all stages of our lives, images of Abuela in the kitchen, Jewel with matching eyes in the red cloak, all the guys in the security business, and even all the members of Julio's gang. I swear I hear someone crying and her purr-like snore. I see happy scenes from my childhood when it was Matt, Abuela and Mom. Days at the beach, at Central Park, and running the streets with Matt at all ages. Broken and in between all these images though, I hear screams, glass shattering, metal crunching. It's like all my most perfect memories, keep getting interrupted by the nightmare that won't take no for an answer.

Eventually though pain, the smell of food, and the background voices catch my attention more then all the beautifully hidden horrors. I feel myself being pulled forward. I feel a jolt, a zap, deep down, like being hit with a defibrillator but in a pleasant way. Then I clearly hear Matt's voice, and then I hear Jewel's and the zap makes sense as I can feel her hand in mine. I can feel that I am laying down in bed. I can tell it's obviously not mine. I am sitting up. I must be in the hospital, again. Fuck! What now?

I open my eyes and see her face right here next to me sitting in the chair next to me. She is looking down at our hands smiling. It's a great site to wake up to. She looks tired and sad despite the slight smile, just barely curling over her lips. Her hair is up, she has no make up on, and she is in her work clothes.

I just want to reach up and touch her face, but I can feel how heavy all my limbs feel, and it was pain that stirred me. The deep all over ache is starting to set in. So, instead she gets my best one liner I can come up with at the time. I do check to make sure everything works, and with a great deal more pain I confirm it does. The nurse comes in the room in a bit of a panic but calms down immediately when she sees me awake.

She gives me a once over and then gives me something for pain in my IV. It is crazy how fast relief comes, and after that I am feeling much more comfortable and relaxed. Until I move my leg wrong and I realize I have a mother fucking tube coming of my dick! This is not okay. That's when I start wondering about how long this has been going on for. If I was asleep long enough for this to be necessary, it must be much worse then any one is letting on.

I ask Jewel and Matt what is going on, and they said I needed to wait for the doctor to evaluate me. I guess by the time the doctor arrives I am probably not in the best mood having to wait for answers. Shortly after he arrives he mentions food, which only reminds me how hungry I am now that I am not dying in pain. The doctor has his speech and I ask some questions. He doesn't answer any of them in a way I approve of, except removing the damn tube from my dick. After he leaves Jewel promises me she won't let me go hungry. We were on the verge of a real moment right there when Matt pulls he usual shit.

He does bring up a good point though, I need to know why I am here and now. Jewel lays the whole thing out as delicately as she can I feel. Since she is the only other person who was there she is the only one who knows. She said the brakes didn't work, but I don't even remember leaving the warehouse. She said something about a folder on the driver seat with documents, but that doesn't make any sense. I always keep the car locked. I need to talk to Miguel and immediately. She let me know she has been in touch with him and he has taken care of everything on his side, while she took care of the numbers. Then they tell me it's Monday, and Lamborghini is totaled.

My brain is trying to process everything that is being thrown at me it's a lot! The nurse comes in to remove the catheter, and Jewels leaves to grab some things. I hate to see here go but it's probably best right now I have some things to consider. I also need to talk to Matt and Miguel! This is bad very, very bad, and I need as much information and allies as possible right now. Damn! And if it's Monday already I have my meeting with the Feds in a few days. I feel over whelmed just thinking about it all and the whatever they gave me for pain isn't exactly leaving my thoughts perfectly clear.

Matt sticks around, and says, "Paybacks are a bitch." Which is fair considered I made sure I was there when did the same with him after his accident. It is not a pleasant feeling when she removes it but I manage not to flinch. There is no way in hell Matt is going to see me be a bitch.

The doctor comes back and in a little while and answers any follow up questions I have. The only one I have is, when am I scheduled to leave? His answer is vague, but the answer is basically as soon as they determine there is no lasting damage and normal functions have fully returned, and once pain management can be handled by oral meds only. Whatever that means.

Matt and I talk for a while and I get the gist of the conversation. I promised nothing would happen to her, and if I would just clean up my act things like this wouldn't happen. I am sick and fucking tired of Matt's judgments when I did all this for him. He has a point though I really don't like that Jewel was involved in any of this. If someone wanted to target me that is one thing, but they made it personal including her.

Miguel shows up in the middle of all Matt's doomsday predictions, and I ask him to give up a few minutes. Matt leaves, and Miguel starts right in. I notice immediately he is holding a medium sized box. "Hey Daryl, how are you feeling?"

"Man don't start with the pointless questions. What do you know about what happened?"

"Unfortunately, not much boss. The girl knows more than anyone. I checked all the cameras on the property, and anyone that was pointed in the direction of your vehicle the cords were cut for, and we dusted what was left of the Lamborghini, and especially the envelope for prints. We got nothing."

"Damn it what do we have?" Miguel hands me the contents of the box.

"Here is everything that was in your car I cleaned it out for you and have been talking to the insurance company handling everything for you. Maybe something in this box will trigger something for you. I am just so glad you're okay. I have been trying not to panic since everything happened, but honestly your like family to me, and I want to kill someone."

"It's okay we are going to get to the bottom of all this, and soon. I'll go through the box and let you know. Actually, I got one more thing for you, my phone?"

"I put it in the box, it was also recovered from the scene. Let me know what I can do okay boss?" Just as quick as he came, he leaves. Matt follows behind him with a line of questions I don't feel like answering right now. So, I wave him off.

I start to dig through the box, but like a beacon there on the top of the box, is this manila folder everyone keeps talking about. I open the envelop, pulling at the contents. The look of shock on my face draws in Matt's attention, and I divert him from them before he can see. Of course, he gives me the third degree, but I disregard him entirely, because I didn't take these. I am in all of them.

As I flip through them, everything comes back like a flood, and I shove all the pictures in the envelope, and immediately start sweating. These were a warning right before the accident, and the warning wasn't for me. I been in business for a long time. I remember the crash now. The lack of brakes. The sounds of the shattering glass, and crunch of metal on metal. The sound of her screaming my name, for once in a context I do not approve of. And despite the fact that I have never wanted anything more than her, I know now I can't have her. I have to let her go to keep her safe.

I think about what I am going to have to do when I see her next, and it crushes me to know in a few minutes I have to break her heart. The thought of intentionally hurting her is like chocking myself, and I am so distraught I can't keep the in the single tear that rolls down my cheek.

I look at Matt, "Well bro, you are going to get exactly what you want. I have to let her go. I cannot live with myself if something happens to her." I hold up the envelope. "This was a warning. The accident was shots fired."

The more I turn over the problem in my head knowing what I know about her. I am going to have to hurt her and probably in a real awful way, because Jewels is no quitter. The woman is even down right gangster as hell with the way she beat the snot out of the pervert. It's like she was perfectly made for me, and I have to tell her I don't want her anymore. How am I ever going to do this convincingly?