A Beautiful Soul

Kabanata 11

"Marami pa namang nag-aantay sayo na mga fans mo, I think they knew already na nakalabas ka na ng ospital."

"Well, ayaw muna akong patrabahuin ni Gabriel. I respect him...although." Huminga ng malalim si Anna at napailing nalang.

"Although?"

"Nevermind."

Napatingin si Dhapnie sa barista na nagdala ng order nila. Nang makaalis ito ay saka ulit tiningnan si Anna.

"How are you and Gabriel?"

"We're okay,"

"Actually, I just wanted to ask you a question, I hope you don't mind."

"If it doesn't insult me, go ahead."

Huminga muna ito nang malalim bago nagsalita.

"Are you not mad at me?"

"Para saan?"

Kumunot ang noo ni Dhapnie, "You were with me when we encountered accident. I was the driver."

"Oh," Napainom si Anna sa order niyang ice blended saka matamang tinitigan ni Anna si Dhapnie habang ito'y nag-aantay ng sagot niya. "So you are the one who mess up everything." Malumanay na sagot ni Anna habang tumatango ito.

"What?"

Hindi makapaniwala si Dhapnie sa kaprangkahan ni Anna. Pero kumibit balikat lang ito saka hinawakan pa siya sa kamay sabay ngumiti, "It's okay, everybody makes mistakes. You don't have to dwell with it."

Hindi nagustuhan ni Dhapnie ang sagot nito. Tipong may double meaning kasi para sa kanya. "Bakit ba you sounds someone I didn't know? You seem to act different. The Anna I knew would never talk to me like that."

Napatawa si Anna sa narinig niyang puna galing kay Dhapnie, "Why? Sobrang bait ba ng Anna na nakilala mo? Did I say something wrong? Diba sabi ko 'you don't have to dwell with it'? From what I feel right now, you are not feeling sorry for me, you just wanted to see if I'm okay so your conscience will be cleanse, right?"

"From what I know, that accident wasn't my fault, that truck hit us."

Kumibit balikat lang si Anna at nananatiling kalmado sa upuan, "Wala akong pakialam from what really happened. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na you don't have to act that you really feel sorry for me. What I hate the most is a pathetic person who's hiding her intention by asking innocent questions and making innocent gestures."

Hindi mapalagay si Dhapnie sa sinabi ni Anna. Dati rati ay napapaikot pa niya ito sa mga drama niya pero ngayon, hindi na niya ito nadadala pa sa mga kasinungalingan niya. Yes, she feels guilty but not to the extent na hihingi siya ng kapatawaran. She still feels it's not entirely her fault that Anna must also held accountable for what happened. Pero from what she saw, lahat ng tao and also her relatives ay itinuturing na siya ang may kasalanan at planado niya lahat ng nangyari nang gabing iyon just to get what she wants.

"Let me tell you this, if Amnesia made our family and friends thinks that you are not at fault, then so be it. Ipagpatuloy mo lang 'yan since you wanted attention and love. What matters most is that I knew you were just playing everyone's heart, especially Gabriel's heart."

Kumunot ang noo ni Anna sa sinabi niya at mataman siyang tiningnan. Saka napatawa ito ng malakas.

"So, you were into Gabriel's heart? Do you have any feelings for my fiancé?"

Nagulat si Dhapnie sa tanong nito, at dito niya napagtanto na hindi nga maalala ni Anna ang nakaraan nilang tatlo no'ng Colleger years nila. Pero naisip din niya na baka pinaglalaruan lang din siya ni Anna para sabihin nito sa kanya ang tunay na nararamdaman niya ngayon.

Pinilit niyang ngumiti sa harap nito, "Do you really wanna know? Then please be well nang maalala mo ng husto kung ano yung sagot sa tanong mo."

Napakibit balikat lang si Anna at tila hindi nababahala sa sagot niya. "I don't think kailangan ko pang magpagaling para lang malaman ko ang sagot dyan. Gusto ko lang sanang makita ang reaksyon mo, but I feel disgusted. I realized mas mabuti nang magkaamnesia ako kaysa maalala ang tungkol sayo." Napatingala siya nang tumayo na si Anna dala ang binili niyang ice blended. "Anyway, I'm glad to know more about you. Next time, I'll be furious to see you again playing innocent." Ngumiti ito saka hindi na nag atubiling yakapin siya bago umalis gaya nang nakaugalian ni Anna na gawin sa kanya.

Naiwan siyang nakakuyom ang mga kamay at di makapaniwala. These past weeks are a real pain in the ass for her. Malamig ang pakikitungo ng lahat ng relatives and friends niya sa kanya. Lalo pa't sobrang special ni Anna. She doesn't have anyone to lean on, pagkatapos na mamatay ang foster parents niya na tito at tita ni Anna ay mag-isa nalang siya.

She had it all. Marami na siyang napatunayan. But she is not happy. She will never be. Because she let that person walk away from her life.

"I can't do it all at once Gabby, I needed to choose only one." Mangiyak-ngiyak na pakiusap ni Dhapnie habang pilit na hinahawi ang mga kamay ni Gabriel sa pagkakayakap nito mula sa likod niya.

"Then choose me! You know I can't live my life when you are not here. I'm so vulnerable."

"I'm so sorry."

Napapikit si Dhapnie. Hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin kay Gab. She knew too that she can't live her life without him. Matagal na silang magkakilala simula noong nasa orphanage pa sila. They both dream the impossible dream. Kilala na nila ang isa't isa and they promise that they won't be separated anymore.

But after her foster family died, Dhapnie chose her dream and she decided to never look back anymore.

One day, when she got all she wanted, naramdaman niyang meron pa ring kulang sa sarili niya. Na kahit ngumiti siya, alam niyang hindi pa rin siya buong masaya. She remembers that person who completes her. The person who became her strength in that small orphanage. And she misses him a lot. So she came back from Philippines and found out she can never get him anymore.

"Patawarin mo ako Dhap, I told you over the phone noong nasa Canada ka but you too were busy." Anna apologized after niyang nalaman na nililigawan ni Gab si Anna, ilang taon na. Nalaman pa niya ito isang gabi noong sinasagot na ni Anna si Gabriel at ang mas masakit pa ay nasaksihan niya lahat ng nangyari sa ancestral house ng family nila.

It's too late for her. Gabriel didn't want to be with her anymore. She knew it the way Gabriel looks at him in the eyes, she can't feel any desire.

It's true that you can only understand the worth of a person when he is no longer spending his time with you.

And all her achievements felt like nothing. Hindi na siya masaya sa buhay niya. All she have is a heart full of regrets.

Remembering the past and everything she went through just to win Gabriel's heart again is such a pain. And what makes her more furious is how Anna's face ridicules her by pointing her mistakes in life.

And Dhapnie feels she does not deserve this treatment. She wanted to be respected. She wanted to win back all loses that she had, especially, she wanted Gabriel back into her life.